Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
An old woman put 6 cans of dog food on the supermarket conveyer belt and began digging in her purse for a coupon.
The cashier was the friendly sort and struck up a conversation. "So, what kind of dog do you have?"
"Well," the old woman answered, “I don't really have a dog. With the price of meat these days, I've figured out that I can make some good, cheap casseroles using dog food. My husband doesn't seem to know the difference, so I'm saving a lot of money by doing this."
The cashier was horrified. "You can't feed your husband dog food! You'll kill him!"
"Nah...he'll be okay. He's a tough old bird,” the woman replied.
Every few days the old woman returned to buy dog food and every day the cashier predicted her husband's imminent death until finally, one day, the old woman entered the store wearing black.
She bought a few items, but no dog food.
The cashier couldn’t help herself and asked, "And how is your husband this fine day?"
“George died last week," the old woman said sadly.
"Ahhh...the dog food..." the cashier said.
"No, it wasn't the dog food," the old woman said.
"Then how did he die?” asked the cashier.
"It was the strangest thing….” the old woman said. "He was sitting in the middle of the road licking his balls and got hit by a bus.”
The cashier was the friendly sort and struck up a conversation. "So, what kind of dog do you have?"
"Well," the old woman answered, “I don't really have a dog. With the price of meat these days, I've figured out that I can make some good, cheap casseroles using dog food. My husband doesn't seem to know the difference, so I'm saving a lot of money by doing this."
The cashier was horrified. "You can't feed your husband dog food! You'll kill him!"
"Nah...he'll be okay. He's a tough old bird,” the woman replied.
Every few days the old woman returned to buy dog food and every day the cashier predicted her husband's imminent death until finally, one day, the old woman entered the store wearing black.
She bought a few items, but no dog food.
The cashier couldn’t help herself and asked, "And how is your husband this fine day?"
“George died last week," the old woman said sadly.
"Ahhh...the dog food..." the cashier said.
"No, it wasn't the dog food," the old woman said.
"Then how did he die?” asked the cashier.
"It was the strangest thing….” the old woman said. "He was sitting in the middle of the road licking his balls and got hit by a bus.”
Americans Jeff & Jim are Siamese twins joined at the hip.
They walk into a bar in New York & order a couple of beers.
Barman serves them and asks
"You guys been on vacation yet?"
"We're off to England next week" says Jeff "We go every year without fail"
Barman says " England's great; the culture, history, the Queen "
Jeff replies "We don't go for that shit, it's the only chance Jim gets to drive
the fucking car."
They walk into a bar in New York & order a couple of beers.
Barman serves them and asks
"You guys been on vacation yet?"
"We're off to England next week" says Jeff "We go every year without fail"
Barman says " England's great; the culture, history, the Queen "
Jeff replies "We don't go for that shit, it's the only chance Jim gets to drive
the fucking car."
dobingsdobber
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- 19 Oct 2010
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And here.
blue44
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- 20 Jun 2009
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- Ashton-u-lyne,Manchester.
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sir baconface
Well-Known Member
I think Lavinda had a bout of arsenesia.