Joke thread

[Zuriblue]

Watching the footy last night I couldn't help but feel that Suarez's departure left Uruguay a little bit toothless.

 

[xenon_]

Talking to my mate last night about the difference between tangerines and clementines.

It was fruitful discussion.


: D I just made that up : D

 

[city saint]

bloke stopped me the other day asking how he could get the hospital.i said call me a ****

 

[city saint]

whats the difference between a giraffe and a fork lift truck.one has hydrolics the other has high bollocks

 

[r.soleofsalford]

What's 2 feet long and slippery?..




my todger covered in baby oil

 

[Lavinda Past]

What's 2 feet long and slippery?..




my todger covered in baby oil

 

[Anonymous]

Was in a pub in Ireland when the bloke sat next to me said "What do you think of County Down?" I said "I prefer Eggyheads."

Not one of your best :)

I think that's definitely one of his best. Love it :))

 

[BlueBearBoots]

Was in a pub in Ireland when the bloke sat next to me said "What do you think of County Down?" I said "I prefer Eggyheads."

Not one of your best :)

I think that's definitely one of his best. Love it :))

This is definitely one of my favs -

Who is the coolest dude in a hospital? ...The ultrasound guy.


LOL

 

[ColinBellsjockstrap]

Jewish Kamikaze pilot
Crashed his plane in his brother's scrapyard



My dad used to tell me when the ice cream van came round they played the chimes to say they had sold out.

 

[TangerineSteve17]

I've heard a man may or may not have been arrested for pouring syrup into his wife's grave. The plot thickens.

I had a dream that I weighed absolutely nothing. I was like 0mg!

After I threw the 100th of my International Hits LPs at the wall I thought to myself, that's another world record smashed.