Joke thread

[Uwe Already]

Roses are red,
my screen is blue,
I think I deleted,
system32

 

[1.618034]

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Just watched a documentary on how boats are put together
Riveting

Talking of boats, my mrs told me I think more of my boat than I do of her. I told her I think more of manchester united than I do of her.

 

[sir baconface]

Talking of boats, my mrs told me I think more of my boat than I do of her. I told her I think more of manchester united than I do of her.

Does she go down easily then?

 

[Nellies left peg]

Ask alexa what Boris Johnson carrot one hundred is in welsh

 

[dronefromsector7G]

If anyone wants leaflets about the treatment of haemorrhoids, I've got piles!

 

[oakiecokie]

View attachment 8728

Hahahahahahhaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

Me : Can I borrow the new book about Cockney swearwords?
Librarian : You can't.
Me : Yeah, that's the one

 

[Mr. Wednesday]

 

[metalblue]

How does a deaf person know if your yawning or screaming?

 

[Maly]

View attachment 8833

Ha ha ha ha ha took me a minute of thinking what the fuck. Nice one fella :)

 

[Mr. Wednesday]

Ha ha ha ha ha took me a minute of thinking what the fuck. Nice one fella :)

Haha yeah. Can't really take the credit obviously, that guy does have some pretty funny stuff on his Twitter feed.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

This is the best one

 

[Indaparkside]

Jill dandos boyfriend wanted to paint her front door red
But she was dead against it

 

[hammocity]

Guy sitting in the doctors office when the doctor walks in, I’m afraid I have some bad news said the doc you’ll have to stop masterbating why says the patient, cos i’m trying to examine you replies the doctor

Bloke goes to the Docs and says:

" I can't sop farting" lets out a big smelly one

Dr says "do you wank a lot"

"I do, has that got something to do with it?" he replies


Dr says "no but it's fucking great isn't it?"

 

[Indaparkside]

Little lad goes to his dad hey dad what’s testicles Balls replies his dad.
Balls to you his son said I’ll ask me fucking mam

 

[Indaparkside]

Same lad hey dad where do I come from me mam said the sugar bowl.
Eye that’s about the fucking size of it replies his dad

 

[dickie davies]

Jill dandos boyfriend wanted to paint her front door red
But she was dead against it

I still remember exactly where I was when KEY103 went to a breaking news story that she'd been murdered.

 

[hammocity]

I still remember exactly where I was when KEY103 went to a breaking news story that she'd been murdered.

Outside the door of a terraced house in Fulham?

 

[dickie davies]

Outside the door of a terraced house in Fulham?

Could you receive KEY 103 on FM in West London?