Joke thread

A newly wed couple on their honeymoon night are in the bedroom getting undressed when she says.

"Darling, now that we are married, I have a little confession to make, I was a hooker before we met, are you OK with that"

He replies "Of course I am darling, we hadn't met then and to be honest it turns me on, so tell me more.”

She says "Well, my name used to be Brian and I played for St. Helens.”
 
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Alan Harper's Tash said:
A newly wed couple on their honeymoon night are in the bedroom getting undressed when she says.

"Darling, now that we are married, I have a little confession to make, I was a hooker before we met, are you OK with that"

He replies "Of course I am darling, we hadn't met then and to be honest it turns me on, so tell me more.”

She says "Well, my name used to be Brian and I played for St. Helens.”
Click to expand...
I heard the final line as "My name used to be Brian and my nickname was Pitbull"
(Brian Moore likes this ending)
 
A bloke goes on holiday and meets a girl wearing a comedy T-shirt with a pair of hand prints over her boobs. They starts going out and as a joke they nickname her boobs "prints". So when they are having sex she says "grab my prints, grab my prints".
One week she has a boob job without his knowledge and when he comes to visit, he sees her bending over the sink. He lifts her skirt and starts to take her from behind. When he grabs round he finds her normal soft boobs are like rock hard.
"What the fuck are those?", he cries.
She answers, "They are the hard tits formally known as prints".
 
An American couple, Canadian couple and English couple are honeymooning in the Caribbean
The first morning they all go to breakfast and the American man says to his wife, pass me the sugar Sugar
The Canadian man says to his wife , pass me the honey Honey
The Englishman says to his wife, pass me the milk you fat cow
 
dickie davies said:
An American couple, Canadian couple and English couple are honeymooning in the Caribbean
The first morning they all go to breakfast and the American man says to his wife, pass me the sugar Sugar
The Canadian man says to his wife , pass me the honey Honey
The Englishman says to his wife, pass me the milk you fat cow
Click to expand...
She could have said "give me your dick, dickie."
 
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