Joke thread

[dronefromsector7G]

I don't get it, I have read it three times now but can't see one area of Manchester mentioned anywhere.

Arse, shit and butt. Maybe that means Trafford?

 

[Blue Mist]

Arse, shit and butt. Maybe that means Trafford?

Well the swamp is in Trafford so maybe that's what he was thinking about.


and I know what you were really getting at, bastard.

 

[oakiecokie]

As a scarecrow, people say I'm outstanding in my field. But hay, it's in my jeans.

Courtesy of Tim Vine who I saw live only a few months ago.A very funny one liner comedian very similar to Milton Jones.These type of jokes I find funny, or perhaps I need to see Matron ?

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Feeling sad as my clothes horse has finally broken beyond repair after I've had it for 25 years... It's the end of an airer!

 

[KS55]

Tim Vine's great joke.
I never use my hoover. It just sits in a cupboard gathering dust.

 

[RadcliffeRick]

Knob end. So many posts to reply with this Greater Manchester location I was spoilt for choice :-)

 

[Sam Armstrong]

VAR has been used to look into the dispute situation between the USA & IRAN. After consideration they have subsequently decided to award a goal to Liverpool!!!

 

[Big Swifty]

Another from Tim Vine:

I went to the butcher's and he said "I bet you can't guess the price of that meat up there on the top shelf"

I said "No, I'm not betting". "Why not?" he asked

I said "Because the steaks are too high..."

 

[jimharri]

I've made a graph of my past relationships.

It has an ex-axis and a why-axis.

 

[sir baconface]

I've made a graph of my past relationships.

It has an ex-axis and a why-axis.

Mine shows sexual relationships. It has a line of best fit.