Joke thread

[mammutly]

It's Good Friday this week and thoughts turn to a bloke with long hair, who will always be remembered for dying on the end of a cross.
Happy easter Andy Carroll.

Jesus wasnt nailed to "the end of a cross". Just nailed to a cross.

It says died on the end of a cross not nailed to the end of a cross.

Andy Caroll isn't dead either

 

[oddfellows]

Jesus wasnt nailed to "the end of a cross". Just nailed to a cross.

It says died on the end of a cross not nailed to the end of a cross.

Andy Caroll isn't dead either

He lives in Chinley

 

[citymantop]

Wife texts husband at work on a cold winters morning:
"Windows frozen."

Husband texts back:
"Pour some lukewarm water over it"

Wife texts back:
"Computer completely fucked now."

 

[johnmc]

Cockneys say "fucked" different to us mancs. Fact.

 

[Ancient Citizen]

Hearing of a miracle cure for dyslexia was music to my arse.

 

[charliebigspuds]

Re: Re: joke thread....

now that IS funny. lol.

Can you explain it please

Read other threads mate...lol i didnt get it at first until i read another thread about 2 lads getting bummed and going back time after time..

are you on about citykev's Glass Bridge thread or something else?

 

[paphos-mcfc]

Paddy & Mick swap sandwiches at work....
Paddy spits it out & says "wot the bloody hell was on that?"
Mick replies "Crab Paste."
Paddy says "where did u get that?" Mick replies" Saw it on offer when I was in the chemist !!!

 

[mrcunny]

Two Chinese burglars plot a break in at a Scottish distillery. One says to the other, "Is it Whisky?"
"Yes", the other one replies, "but not as whisky as a bank wobbery!"??

 

[ob]

wifes sister knocked me out yesterday. I was so fooking angry , what sort of sick woman puts chloroform in her dirty knickers??.

 

[TrueBlue76]

No need to login to sickipedia anymore, all the jokes get reposted on here instead.......