Brilliant!
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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Brilliant!
crazyg
Well-Known Member
You missed out the Half Way Liners from that list.Google F-Troop , The Treatment and Millwall fans.
Paulpowersleftfoot
Well-Known Member
Boris Johnson, Donald Trump, Pope Francis and Mary, a Ten year old Irish school girl were on a plane with just 3 parachutes. The plane was about to go down, and, as they were short one parachute they decided Boris should go first Boris when he said, "I'm the smartest man in England, I simply cannot die, I have to survive", and out he jumped with the parachute.
Next was Trump and he said, "I need to make America great again and sort out this corona virus", so out he jumped.
One parachute left, Pope Francis said, "little Mary, you take it. I have lived a good life, you are young, your whole life is ahead of you, take it".
Mary replied... "it's OK Francis, there's two parachutes left, the smartest man in England took my schoolbag".
Next was Trump and he said, "I need to make America great again and sort out this corona virus", so out he jumped.
One parachute left, Pope Francis said, "little Mary, you take it. I have lived a good life, you are young, your whole life is ahead of you, take it".
Mary replied... "it's OK Francis, there's two parachutes left, the smartest man in England took my schoolbag".
Allnightlong
Well-Known Member
Boris Johnson, Donald Trump, Pope Francis and Mary, a Ten year old Irish school girl were on a plane with just 3 parachutes. The plane was about to go down, and, as they were short one parachute they decided Boris should go first Boris when he said, "I'm the smartest man in England, I simply cannot die, I have to survive", and out he jumped with the parachute.
Next was Trump and he said, "I need to make America great again and sort out this corona virus", so out he jumped.
One parachute left, Pope Francis said, "little Mary, you take it. I have lived a good life, you are young, your whole life is ahead of you, take it".
Mary replied... "it's OK Francis, there's two parachutes left, the smartest man in England took my schoolbag".
dont get it. has Boris said he is the smartest man in England?
TheBlueDune
Well-Known Member
We'll not see someone of his calibre againYour a barrel of laughs.
Fiftyyearsandcounting
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 25 Oct 2009
- Messages
- 2,099
Billy Graham, the greatest evangelist of his time came to Wembley Stadium in the mid-60's. A crowd of 100,000 came to hear him.
For over an hour he raised fire and brimstone with fever pitch praying and glory hallelujah-ing.
He promised the faithful to perform miracles and called for 2 infirmed people to come on to the stage.
Mrs Smith, a cripple with 2 crutches was half carried on stage followed by Mr Jones who had a terrible lisp when talking. They both went behind a screen.
Mr Graham got the crowd to stand, to pray to god, to sing his praise, to shout hallelujahs, to beg his miracles.
The stadium was deafened by such fervour and devotion. The the preacher shouted "Mrs Smith, throw away your crutches and to a great shout of joy, first one crutch, then the other one is flung over the screen. The crowd yelled with more hallelujahs. Then preacher man shouts "Mr Jones, speak to us,let us hear you voice"
"Mithith Thmith has just fallen over"
For over an hour he raised fire and brimstone with fever pitch praying and glory hallelujah-ing.
He promised the faithful to perform miracles and called for 2 infirmed people to come on to the stage.
Mrs Smith, a cripple with 2 crutches was half carried on stage followed by Mr Jones who had a terrible lisp when talking. They both went behind a screen.
Mr Graham got the crowd to stand, to pray to god, to sing his praise, to shout hallelujahs, to beg his miracles.
The stadium was deafened by such fervour and devotion. The the preacher shouted "Mrs Smith, throw away your crutches and to a great shout of joy, first one crutch, then the other one is flung over the screen. The crowd yelled with more hallelujahs. Then preacher man shouts "Mr Jones, speak to us,let us hear you voice"
"Mithith Thmith has just fallen over"
dickie davies
Well-Known Member
I thought I'd clicked on the joke thread!Billy Graham, the greatest evangelist of his time came to Wembley Stadium in the mid-60's. A crowd of 100,000 came to hear him.
For over an hour he raised fire and brimstone with fever pitch praying and glory hallelujah-ing.
He promised the faithful to perform miracles and called for 2 infirmed people to come on to the stage.
Mrs Smith, a cripple with 2 crutches was half carried on stage followed by Mr Jones who had a terrible lisp when talking. They both went behind a screen.
Mr Graham got the crowd to stand, to pray to god, to sing his praise, to shout hallelujahs, to beg his miracles.
The stadium was deafened by such fervour and devotion. The the preacher shouted "Mrs Smith, throw away your crutches and to a great shout of joy, first one crutch, then the other one is flung over the screen. The crowd yelled with more hallelujahs. Then preacher man shouts "Mr Jones, speak to us,let us hear you voice"
"Mithith Thmith has just fallen over"
Big Swifty
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 8 Nov 2011
- Messages
- 4,363
I thought I'd clicked on the joke thread!
Shouldn't it read "hath jutht fallen over"?
(Quietly slits own throat)Billy Graham, the greatest evangelist of his time came to Wembley Stadium in the mid-60's. A crowd of 100,000 came to hear him.
For over an hour he raised fire and brimstone with fever pitch praying and glory hallelujah-ing.
He promised the faithful to perform miracles and called for 2 infirmed people to come on to the stage.
Mrs Smith, a cripple with 2 crutches was half carried on stage followed by Mr Jones who had a terrible lisp when talking. They both went behind a screen.
Mr Graham got the crowd to stand, to pray to god, to sing his praise, to shout hallelujahs, to beg his miracles.
The stadium was deafened by such fervour and devotion. The the preacher shouted "Mrs Smith, throw away your crutches and to a great shout of joy, first one crutch, then the other one is flung over the screen. The crowd yelled with more hallelujahs. Then preacher man shouts "Mr Jones, speak to us,let us hear you voice"
"Mithith Thmith has just fallen over"
Tuearts right boot
Well-Known Member
Billy Graham, the greatest evangelist of his time came to Wembley Stadium in the mid-60's. A crowd of 100,000 came to hear him.
For over an hour he raised fire and brimstone with fever pitch praying and glory hallelujah-ing.
He promised the faithful to perform miracles and called for 2 infirmed people to come on to the stage.
Mrs Smith, a cripple with 2 crutches was half carried on stage followed by Mr Jones who had a terrible lisp when talking. They both went behind a screen.
Mr Graham got the crowd to stand, to pray to god, to sing his praise, to shout hallelujahs, to beg his miracles.
The stadium was deafened by such fervour and devotion. The the preacher shouted "Mrs Smith, throw away your crutches and to a great shout of joy, first one crutch, then the other one is flung over the screen. The crowd yelled with more hallelujahs. Then preacher man shouts "Mr Jones, speak to us,let us hear you voice"
"Mithith Thmith has just fallen over"
The joke was good in its theory but the delivery needs work.