Joke thread

[FuZzY]

Team news:
Man City have declared Joe Hart fully fit to face Newcastle United on Sunday after resting him for the Manchester derby.

 

[gaudinho's stolen car]

What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

 

[JuniorBlue]

A dyslexic man walked into a bra

 

[pablozabaleta]

Today is Star Wars Day! May the 4th be with you

 

[Bill]

Team news:
Man City have declared Joe Hart fully fit to face Newcastle United on Sunday after resting him for the Manchester derby.

:)
quality.

 

[Oohvonkyvonky]

Me and the wife were in the shopping centre earlier, where we rounded a corner to see a gaggle of young women, all wearing next to nothing, pouring out of hmv.
"Phoarr!", I said to the wife, pointing at a gorgeous lass of about twenty. "I bet you'd fucking love to have legs like her."

She didn't respond, but I could tell she was upset.

I could hear the sobs as I wheeled her up the ramp into debenhams.

 

[Ancient Citizen]

I can't believe my best mate Gavin, has died of severe heartburn.
Gav is gone.

 

[jimharri]

Today is Star Wars Day! May the 4th be with you

Childishly brilliant!

*searches for keyboard cleaner*

 

[MCFCpassion]

Me and the wife were in the shopping centre earlier, where we rounded a corner to see a gaggle of young women, all wearing next to nothing, pouring out of hmv.
"Phoarr!", I said to the wife, pointing at a gorgeous lass of about twenty. "I bet you'd fucking love to have legs like her."

She didn't respond, but I could tell she was upset.

I could hear the sobs as I wheeled her up the ramp into debenhams.

Brilliant haha.

 

[unsworthblue]

Sanjay the Indian wife beater headbutts his wife at 7.30 every night,on the dot