Joke thread

[sir baconface]

Irish knock knock. You start.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

....Erm.....

 

[Ifwecouldjust.......]

Thought I'd pop round to my nans last night see if she needed any help with halloween ..... needn't have bothered she's done a fabulous job ... front windows all grimy and cobwebbed, newspapers sticking out of the letterbox.... house in complete darkness apart from the telly flickering in the front room. She's even got a skeleton sat in her favourite chair dressed in her pinny and things


Really spooky ..... obviously doesn't need my help. I'll pop around again next year.

 

[Bill the Blue]

Called into a fancy dress shop and asked the assistant if he had a Dracula outfit..

He went in the back and reappeared with a dipper shirt complete with shorts, socks and plastic PL medal..


I said "you must have misheard me, I said I wanted to look like a Count"..!

 

[Bill Walker]

porsche carrera 911 0 60

 

[dickie davies]

 

[sir baconface]

This will stop the little bastards knocking on my door.

 

[Out on blue 6]

This will stop the little bastards knocking on my door.

Now that's funny

 

[Manchester_lalala]

Sean Connery goes into a library and asks for a book on marine crustaceans.

Shellfish?

Shome shay.

Read this and got a notification five seconds later saying he’s dead. Must be Halloween.

 

[Blue Mist]

He'd just been nominated a bit earlier in the worst big name actor thread.

Well he is now !

 

[Big Swifty]

Hush, Hush, Whisper who dares,
Young boy sits at the foot of the stairs,
There's blood on the carpet,
There's fur on the mat,
Little Johnny's dissected the cat.

Not remotely funny.

Shame on you.