Joke thread

[stonerblue]

When my Great Aunt died, the family ask the monumental engraver to put "She never smoked, never drank, never swore, never married, never had a lover".
"That's a lot of work" he replied, "Why don't I just write Returned Unopened"

keep yer coat on.

 

[kippax4ever]

I fell asleep at a party last night and somebody went and put a tea bag in my mouth. I went absolutely mental... Nobody treats me like a mug.

Tea bag...you missed ging off bag

 

[RobMCFC]

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ah.
Ah who?
Werewolves of London.

 

[Cellarite]

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ah.
Ah who?
Werewolves of London.

Coat?

 

[Uwe Already]

An acupuncturist stopped me from smoking...she put pin holes in all my fags.

The only way I could get nicotine patches to work was to put them over my eyes so I couldn’t find my fags...

 

[Uwe Already]

Vet told me my dog was in Heat, I never knew she was famous!

 

[dickie davies]

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ah.
Ah who?
Werewolves of London.

I laughed

 

[BimboBob]

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ah.
Ah who?
Werewolves of London.

Love this. Stupid but funny.

 

[RadcliffeRick]

I laughed

I think you should put the pipe down now, seems like you have had more than usual

 

[dobingsdobber]

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ah.
Ah who?
Werewolves of London.

French "knock knock";

frappe frappe
qui est la?
Losti
Losti qui?
Exactement