Joke thread

[mammutly]

How do you make a gay fuck a woman?

Shit in her ****.

This is a joke thread

 

[Ovo]

How do you make a gay fuck a woman?

Shit in her ****.

This is a joke thread

And now you're the biggest one on it. Hurrah.

 

[bluemoon1985]

A priest goes to check into a hotel and says to the receptionist,I hope the porn is disabled in my room.the receptionist replies,no sir the porn is the same in all rooms.

 

[MCFCpassion]

Some crackers in here, had me in stiches for the last 20 minutes.

 

[BackofJeanette]

I'm sick of hearing about the Olympics.If I wanted to see a bunch of cunts that haven't worked for 4 years parading in tracksuits I'd move to Liverpool.


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Team GB have won their first gold medal in the shooting category.

Croxteth got the gold and Norris Green got the silver.


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Just been watching the ladies beach volley ball and there has already been a bad wrist injury,

i should be ok by the morning!!!

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A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Britain so that they can see their own doctor


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The Irish water polo team have had to withdraw from the Olympic games after all their horses drowned in their warm-up match!

 

[Ancient Citizen]

I was in Australia with the wife recently, when she got stung on the minge by a hornet.
I phoned the local doctor, who was one of those laid-back surfer types;

''Doc, can you help me?''

''Sure cobber, what's up man?''

''My wife has been stung on the vagina and it's completely closed up.''

''Bummer dude,''

''Thanks Doc, bye.''

 

[Bill]

I was in Australia with the wife recently, when she got stung on the minge by a hornet.
I phoned the local doctor, who was one of those laid-back surfer types;

''Doc, can you help me?''

''Sure cobber, what's up man?''

''My wife has been stung on the vagina and it's completely closed up.''

''Bummer dude,''

''Thanks Doc, bye.''

:)

 

[Ancient Citizen]

A group of primary school children go on a trip to Ascot races to learn about horses.
When it's time to go to the toilets it is decided that the girls will go with one lady teacher and the boys with another. The teacher assigned to the boys is waiting outside when one of the boys comes out to tell her that none of them can reach the urinal.
Having no choice, she goes inside and helps the boys with their pants and begins hoisting the boys up one by one, holding their willies to direct the flow.
As she lifts one boy she can't help but notice that he is unusually well-endowed. Trying not to stare she says,

''You must be in year four.''

''No love, I'm riding Silver Shadow in the 2 15!''

 

[bluestevei]

An 80-year old man was having his annual check-up & the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an 20 year old bride who's pregnant & having my child! What do you think about that ?

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day, he went out in a bit of a hurry, & he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods, & suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear & squeezed the handle. & do you know what happened?" the doctor queried. Dumbfounded, the old man replied, "No." The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!" "That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man,Someone else must have shot that bear."

"That's kind of what I'm getting at," replied the doctor

 

[unexpected item]

Was at the doctors yesterday. He gave me a stern look, and slowly shook his head. "you'll have to stop masturbating" he said "oh no, is it bad for me?" I replied.

"No" he said, "it's just that it makes it difficult to examine you".