Joke thread

[colourmeblue]

Not really a joke, more of a quip and shamelessly plagarised from another site...

Before our last meeting with the rags at Wembley:

'Havent been so concerned about a semi since I watched Brokeback Mountain'

 

[r.soleofsalford]

It's my Scouse nephew's birthday tomorrow so as a surprise I've put £10 in his nan's purse.

this one made me laugh

 

[onelife]

new susan boyle book out soon,
50 SHAVES A DAY.

 

[brass neck]

There were ugly scenes at the olympic syncronised diving event today, officials had to break up a fight when Paddy O'Flanigan accused his partner Seamus Rafferty of copying him!

 

[gymshoe]

A giraffe walks into a pub and says, "High balls are on me."

 

[dronefromsector7g]

Paddy and Mick walking through the woods. Paddy says "Look a sign saying 'Tree fellers wanted' ".

Mick shaked his head in disappointment and says "But sure there's only two of us"

 

[Ancient Citizen]

Just been watching the Ladies beach volleyball and already there's been a nasty wrist injury.
I should be alright by next week, though.

 

[Bilston Blue]

The sailing is currently reaching its conclusion on the south coast. Great Britain took gold, New Zealand took silver, and Somalia took a middle-aged Weymouth couple hostage.

 

[brass neck]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got Altziemers
Cheese On Toast

 

[Seosa]

The sailing is currently reaching its conclusion on the south coast. Great Britain took gold, New Zealand took silver, and Somalia took a middle-aged Weymouth couple hostage.

Brilliant.