Joke thread

[balotellishaircut]

Last night outside my local Costcutters I was asked by a group of teenagers if I would get them ‘20 Richmond’

I know I shouldn’t of but reluctantly I agreed and got them, I handed them over and you should of heard the aggressive abuse I received, so I told them “Next time get your own fucking sausages”

 

[Ancient Citizen]

I was on the way home from the supermarket yesterday and I saw a bill board that read 'upcoming events'

I thought....that's a sign of things to come

I went out of the house this morning and tripped over an obstacle that
said 'Men at work.'
I thought, that's a bad sign.

 

[LWashington]

I went out of the house this morning and tripped over an obstacle that
said 'Men at work.'

You should have looked Down Under your feet.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

I painted one half of my face like a clown yesterday and went for a drive in the car... I'm not sure everyone saw the funny side

 

[Bill Walker]

My interests include taking LSD and rescuing stray dogs.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

I fingered a fortune teller whilst she was on her period... I got my palm red!

 

[jimharri]

So; Keir Starmer walks into a bar......

 

[dickie davies]

My interests include taking LSD and rescuing stray dogs.

I have tears rolling down my face laughing at that

 

[Bill Walker]

The wife's just said, "I can think of 14 reasons why I should leave you , and then there's your obsession with tennis "

I said "that's 15 love "

 

[Bill Walker]

I have tears rolling down my face laughing at that

I know exactly what you mean it had that effect on me, something fucking hilarious about it.