Joke thread

[ColinBellsjockstrap]

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage, but I lost the case.

Justice is a dish best served cold, because if it were served warm, it would be just water.

I tried to scape the Apple store, but I couldn't because there were no Windows.

I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something horrible is about to happen... I can feel it.

She was only a whiskey maker, but I loved her still.

The school I went to was sponsored by IKEA. Assembly took ages.

Elton John has bought his pet rabbit a treadmill. It’s a little fit bunny.

 

[JRockBlues]

I was once so broke that I couldn't afford to pay my electric bill.

Those were dark days.

 

[blue44]

I was once so broke that I couldn't afford to pay my electric bill.

Those were dark days.

we were so poor

we used to have beans on toast

cos we couldn't afford plates

 

[blue44]

View attachment 88372

bloody hell
is that real ? I cant believe it.
Its like summert they'd have in Pattaya years ago.

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Uwe Already]

Oldie, but seeing what has gone before…

The CEO of IKEA has just been voted in as prime minister of Sweden - he’ll have his cabinet assembled by the weekend ;)

 

[SCEtoAUX]

What is the motto of the French navy?

"a l'eau, c'est l'heur".

 

[Citizen of Legoland]

Explain

To water is the hour, is the google translation.

It’s a homophonic joke.

Spoiler

When spoken it sounds like ‘Allo, Sailor’

 

[Mr Fraser]

It’s a homophonic joke.

Spoiler

When spoken it sounds like ‘Allo, Sailor’

So bad it's good, took me about 8 times saying out loud before I got it

 

[KS55]

So bad it's good, took me about 8 times saying out loud before I got it

The real motto is: Prenez garde……………………..cavalez, cavalez, Les rosbifs sont arrivees.

 

[Fred_Quimby]

 

[aguero93:20]

It’s a homophonic joke.

Spoiler

When spoken it sounds like ‘Allo, Sailor’

There's no need for bigotry.

 

[SnakeDoctor473]

 

[blue44]

 

[Lavinda Past]

The real motto is: Prenez garde……………………..cavalez, cavalez, Les rosbifs sont arrivees.

I went to school with Les Rosbifs

 

[ray21]

.

 

[roman totale]

View attachment 88623

My old man had one of them. I don’t think there’s a shed in the UK that doesn’t have one lying around. Along with a bag of cement, gone hard.

 

[Beswick Prize Bands Big Drum]

My old man had one of them. I don’t think there’s a shed in the UK that doesn’t have one lying around. Along with a bag of cement, gone hard.

Yep, I've got both.

 

[blue44]

My old man had one of them. I don’t think there’s a shed in the UK that doesn’t have one lying around. Along with a bag of cement, gone hard.

I remember as a kid in the early 1970's messing about with one too, probably me dads.pardon the pun ;-)