Joke thread

my mates fallen out with me after catching me wanking whilst sniffing his little sisters knickers. it didn't help that she was wearing them at the time.

it made the funeral very awkward for the both of us.
 
Christmas day,i went round to my dads house,ran in all excited like,going "dad dad what have you got me"...dad was in his study,he called out "im just on the phone" "be out in a minute"
last minute wrapping i thought,anyway few minutes later he came out and said"follow me" took me outside and showed me a car...A CAR...choking back tears i said"dad is that really for me"......"yes" he said...."its a taxi get in it and fuck off"..
 
after having sex with a rough council estate girl, theres nothing worse than looking down and seeing a split and leaking condom hanging off the end of your cock............ especially when you weren't the one wearing one to begin with.
 
Wayne Rooney has written to UEFA about his red card.


he had his crayons out so he also drew them a picture of a dog, a house and some saggy gran-tits.



Google has just reached its 13th birthday, surveillance on Kevin Webster has been doubled.
 
i just got ripped off by a chinese guy. the pan he sold me doesn't fly at all.


my wife caught me wanking whilst looking at a magic eye picture. i said "it's not what it looks like"


agnb - thats bang out of order
 
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