Upamecano is Bayerns CB.
Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Lavinda Past
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Worsprung Durch Shitjoke
LWashington
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sir baconface
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kippaxneil
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There's a new Elbow tribute band around, called 'Arse'. They're so good you can't tell them apart.
Alan Harper's Tash
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I miss being 20.
Alan Harper's Tash
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Why did the baker have brown hands?
Because he kneaded a poo.
Because he kneaded a poo.
Robinho's Subbuteo
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aguero93:20
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- Some gobshites in day-glo green and black.
*Faces .
Big Swifty
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balotellishaircut
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I went to bed last night thinking I was Peter Noone.
Woke up this morning I’m feeling fine.
dronefromsector7G
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There was a fire drill at IKEA today…We all assembled in the car park!
I see somebody corrected faeces to faces. Was that in itself a joke or a sense of humour failure? No good asking for more, I am useless at it. Just a lucky random thought as was “mohammered”. Two on the same day is a record.
PS EDIT. A decent joke writer would have written “ What do you call a constipated pop band? ….Small faeces.” but that only occurred to me 24 hours later.
Last edited:
Lavinda Past
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Two lads at the top of a ski slope arguing. Bloke goes up to them and asks if can help.
Lad says "we can't agree how to ski... is itl zig zag or zag zig?'
Bloke says "sorry, I don't know, I'm a tobogganist"
"Never mind" says the lad, "I'll just have 20 Benson and Hedges please"
Lad says "we can't agree how to ski... is itl zig zag or zag zig?'
Bloke says "sorry, I don't know, I'm a tobogganist"
"Never mind" says the lad, "I'll just have 20 Benson and Hedges please"
Two English lads go for a drink in Paris.
Can we have 2 pints of your best Stella Artois?
Barman: " Dont you know you're in France now. Its half litre over here"
Alright, In that case can we have 2 pints of your best halflitre?
Fiftyyearsandcounting
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A pregnant woman in labour was crying out "Could'n't, Shouldn't, Didn't, Wouldn't, Can't...she was having contractions.
After the baby was born, she was asked "Is it a boy or girl", she replied "Yes".
After the baby was born, she was asked "Is it a boy or girl", she replied "Yes".
Lavinda Past
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So the baby could talk then...? Amazing.
Ask her if she knows what time the punchline arrives...
HorlocksWalk
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They also had a dog he was up-a-me-lego
Uwe Already
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Ignore them mate. I don’t care what the others say, I think it’s mildly amusing…