Joke thread

[yeseye]

yeah,i think i will post it on the seasoncard thread.

Go on..
“The new card readers have arrived at the Etihad…”

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

We can learn a lot from history.

Take today. I was watching Premier League classics on Sky Sports, Liverpool versus Man Utd from 1998 and I discovered that Posh Spice takes it up the arse.

 

[Barcon]

Tramp stamp

 

[Bill Walker]

Tramp stamp

Haha

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[Big Swifty]

Please avoid using a website called Constipated.com. It wouldn't let me log out.

I use conjunctivitis.com.

It's a site for sore eyes.

 

[DrBlueBob]

VOTED BEST JOKE IN IRELAND

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep.

A variation being that the hubby does a five minute talk on sex but told his wife it was about sailing.
Wife is told how knowledgeable he was in his chat to which she replies :That's strange, he's only ever done it twice. The first time he was sick and the second time his hat blew off"

 

[PannickAtTheDisco]

what do you call it when Sergio goes down on a woman?

Kunnilingus.