Joke thread

[BackofJeanette]

It's the remix version!

;-)

 

[talkativesprout]

Two Chinese men break into a distillery.
One asks the other,is it Whisky?
He replies, not as whisky as wobbing a bank.

My mate Pat Noodle from the Dublin Triads says this is bollox

 

[doots]

Two Chinese men break into a distillery.
One asks the other,is it Whisky?
He replies, not as whisky as wobbing a bank.

My mate Pat Noodle from the Dublin Triads says this is bollox[/QUOTE
He's an iwish wasist. ]

 

[talkativesprout]

He's an iwish wasist.

Is that you Harry?

 

[dickie davies]

Just been into Burger King and had a whopper

It took three flushes before it went

 

[Manchester1894]

Was he Dutch and do a neat move with a football?

 

[maccieblue]

Just been into Burger King and had a whopper

It took three flushes before it went

i went to the new topless waitress Mcdonalds the lass behind the counter said "would you like to go large ?" i replied I already have

 

[RadcliffeRick]

Or the Chinese on where the girl asks if you want sore finger.

 

[Indaparkside]

United trying to have more possession, better players, less plastic fans, and a better manager oh and beating us a week on Sunday now that would be a joke

 

[dronefromsector7G]

What's white and falls from the sky at Christmas?

An emo kid.

 

[Dave Ewing's Back 'eader]

Can you name The Venue and the year when a boxer won his title and immediatly took a shit on the floor ?








Cruyfts 1987.

How long has St Johann had a fuckin' dog show?

 

[jimharri]

Wartime Britain and two German paratroopers land in England.


Fritz: Vott are Vee going to do, how will vee blind in?

Herman: Vee do just like das Englanders do, vee go to the pub, und act casual.

Fritz: Vot vill ve order, Ve dont know any englander drinks.

Herman: Leave zatt to me,,,,,,, I am ze expert.




They go in the Dog and Duck and walk up to the bar.


Herman: Two Martinis please landlord.

Landlord: Dry?

Herman: Nein, Zwei.

Fritz: Scheisse

 

[sir baconface]

Wartime Britain and two German paratroopers land in England.


Fritz: Vott are Vee going to do, how will vee blind in?

Herman: Vee do just like das Englanders do, vee go to the pub, und act casual.

Fritz: Vot vill ve order, Ve dont know any englander drinks.

Herman: Leave zatt to me,,,,,,, I am ze expert.




They go in the Dog and Duck and walk up to the bar.


Herman: Two Martinis please landlord.

Landlord: Dry?

Herman: Nein, Zwei.

Fritz: Scheisse

Sehr gut :)

 

[tshirtman]

It's been 7 hours and 15 days since my wife left me because of my obsession with Sinead O'Connor

 

[KS55]

Jack is a reet tyke. He goes to meet his mate for a drink, but is delayed. When he arrives, his mate says:
"Ee Jack, yer late"
Jack replies:
"Can't manage it just at the moment."

 

[manchester blue]

I played pool with an owl last night. I broke and potted the White. I said,"two hits". The owl said, "Two hits to who".

 

[KS55]

I played pool with an owl last night. I broke and potted the White. I said,"two hits". The owl said, "Two hits to who".

Surely it shoud be Two Hits to WHOM.......Gets coat.

 

[malg]

Wartime Britain and two German paratroopers land in England.


Fritz: Vott are Vee going to do, how will vee blind in?

Herman: Vee do just like das Englanders do, vee go to the pub, und act casual.

Fritz: Vot vill ve order, Ve dont know any englander drinks.

Herman: Leave zatt to me,,,,,,, I am ze expert.




They go in the Dog and Duck and walk up to the bar.


Herman: Two Martinis please landlord.

Landlord: Dry?

Herman: Nein, Zwei.

Fritz: Scheisse

Love it.

 

[talkativesprout]

 

[AVCol]

Bloody Amazon I ordered 4 Kindles

They sent me a Two Ronnies DVD