Joke thread

BackofJeanette said:


He probably thinks this about that joke of yours!
Click to expand...


R.L. had a pretty dark sense of humor. I think he'd approve.


Okay, okay. If it was that bad. Here's an old sports joke I like. There was a colorful baseball player in the US named Rickey Henderson. He was known for being a bit thick headed and not having much awareness.

Anyway, one day at practice he noticed another player who always wore his batting helmet (even when he was on the field.) The other player's name was John Olerud.

"Why do you wear that helmet?" Rickey said.

"I had an aneurysm when I was 9. The helmet is for protection." Olerud replied.

“You know, when I played in Toronto, we had a guy who wore a helmet.”

Olerud cleared his throat.

"Rickey. That was me."
 
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A woman's husband died. He had £20,000 to his name.

After everything is done at the undertaker and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that there is no money left.

The friend says, "How can that be? You told me he had £20,000 a few days before he died. How could you be broke?"

The widow says, "Well, the funeral cost me £6,500. And of course, I had to make the obligatory donation for the church and the organist and all. That was £500 and I spent another £500 for the wake, food and drinks, you know. The rest went for the memorial stone."

The friend says, £12,500 for the memorial stone? My God, how big was it?"

The widow says, "Three carats."
 
Zuriblue said:
A woman's husband died. He had £20,000 to his name.

After everything is done at the undertaker and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that there is no money left.

The friend says, "How can that be? You told me he had £20,000 a few days before he died. How could you be broke?"

The widow says, "Well, the funeral cost me £6,500. And of course, I had to make the obligatory donation for the church and the organist and all. That was £500 and I spent another £500 for the wake, food and drinks, you know. The rest went for the memorial stone."

The friend says, £12,500 for the memorial stone? My God, how big was it?"

The widow says, "Three carats."
Click to expand...
OK, someone's gonna have to explain this to me.
 
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