Joke thread

[dronefromsector7G]

A Chelsea fan?

Sterling?

 

[Blue Mist]

A scouser?

Nah, the scouse cops looked at hundreds of hours of videos but didn't manage to identify anyone.

 

[PR7]

A young boy asks
‘dad what’s the difference between a pussy and a ****?’
‘Look at this’ says the dad as he lifts the sheets from the boys sleeping mother
‘That’s a pussy son’
‘That’s wonder dad, can I touch it?’
‘No son, if you touch it you’ll wake the **** up.’

 

[Barcon]

What's the difference between a basin and a bison?

 

[Blue Mist]

What's the difference between a basin and a bison?

Hi don't know, what his the difference between a basin and a bison ?

 

[dickie davies]

What's the difference between a basin and a bison?

I think you'll find that the actual joke is... "what's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?"

A- You can't wash your hands in a buffalo

 

[Blue Mist]

I think you'll find that the actual joke is... "what's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?"

A- You can't wash your hands in a buffalo

That is more like a joke, I await Barcons reply.

In fact. nah I'm going to bed.

 

[Barcon]

I think you'll find that the actual joke is... "what's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?"

A- You can't wash your hands in a buffalo

Ha, it's been a while since my Dad told it to me.

 

[yeseye]

I can't believe that Peter Beardsley is facing charges of racism. I'm sure anything he might have said was tongue in cheek.

 

[dickie davies]

What's the difference between a goldfish and a goat?

One mucks around a fountain

 

[i kne albert davy]

What's the difference between a goldfish and a goat?

One mucks around a fountain

Which one

 

[Big Swifty]

It is a little-known fact that Chris Waddle, in his younger days in the North-East, worked in a grand house belonging to one of the local gentry.

One day, this toff came back after a hard day's huntin' and shootin', and said to Chris: "Just help me orf with me boots, Waddle" - which he did. Then he said "Run me a bath, Waddle" - which he did. As he lay back in the bath he said "Fetch me a gin and tonic, Waddle", and let off a loud squelchy fart in the bath.

Waddle looked at him quizzically, but came back with a gin & tonic and a hot water bottle. "What the devil have you brought me that for?" the toff demanded testily. "Well, sir," said Chris, "you distinctly said "Fetch me a gin & tonic - and what about a water bottle, Waddle?"

I hope it was worth the wait.

 

[Ancient Citizen]

Bill and Ben, Flowerpot men, sat in the bath.
Bill farts.
Ben says 'Twenty five past seven.'

 

[crazyg]

I think you'll find that the actual joke is... "what's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?"

A- You can't wash your hands in a buffalo

Has one of our Cockernee guests been telling jokes again?
It's the way they tell 'em!

 

[Big Swifty]

One from 1955, but it still makes me laugh:

Lord Rosebery was a great patron of horse racing and donated several trophies for the sport.

Qn: What is the difference between Lord Rosebery and Group-Captain Peter Townsend?

Ans: Lord Rosebery gave the Royal Hunt Cup

 

[MellowJoe]

My wife said to me 'what do you love more? Having sex with me...or Football?'
I said 'Open your fucking legs and I'll show ya!'
She opened her legs, and I nutmegged her

 

[dobingsdobber]

What's the difference between a dashing cavalry officer and a flatulent beer-delivery driver?
One darts into the fray...….

 

[BimboBob]

What's the difference between a goldfish and a goat?

One mucks around a fountain

Goldfish? In a fountain?

 

[RadcliffeRick]

Goldfish? In a fountain?

You know the song "3 kois in a fountain "

 

[Ancient Citizen]

Another 'What's the difference...'

A Market trader and a Dachshund?
One bawls out his wares.