Joke thread

[lefty goldblatt]

 

[bluemanchester]

View attachment 93822

 

[Stuuuuuu]

“After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, ‘Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep with a hot 23-year-old girl every night.
Now, I have a $500,000 home, a $45,000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 69-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things.’
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.
Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problems.”

23 + 50 = 73

 

[bluebc]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Grassland Blue]

View attachment 93874

Good point.
We definitely need to eat more beef...

 

[SkyBlueFlux]

View attachment 93877

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into Ramanujan’s bar. The first orders one beer. The next orders two beers. The third orders three beers…

Ramanujan says “you’re all idiots” and pours them -1/12 beers.

 

[bumbleblue]

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[Tuearts right boot]

View attachment 94017

There's hope for me yet !!

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[Blue Mist]

Can we please have a joke thread and a Too Clever For My Own Good Joke Thread

All this some bastard bartender poured a third of a pint for a mathematician is doing my swede in. I went to a Comprehensive. If you took O levels you got battered for being posh.
I get the 'I left my bike outside' joke, I don't get the Manchester fuckin' Grammer Head Boy shit, i bet even @Prestwich_Blue doesn't get them cos he only went to a polytechnic and we all know they are pretend uni's

 

[sir baconface]

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Can we please have a joke thread and a Too Clever For My Own Good Joke Thread

All this some bastard bartender poured a third of a pint for a mathematician is doing my swede in. I went to a Comprehensive. If you took O levels you got battered for being posh.
I get the 'I left my bike outside' joke, I don't get the Manchester fuckin' Grammer Head Boy shit, i bet even @Prestwich_Blue doesn't get them cos he only went to a polytechnic and we all know they are pretend uni's

I'm not really surprised to be honest, as It's Grammar.....