Joke thread

Uwe Already said:
My axolotl got flattened by a large cake, ended his life - in the gateau…
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My Farmer friend told me he had a female sheep that kept leaving the rest of the flock so I went to have a look & he pointed to a single sheep on its own in the distance and said............ Thats The Wander Off Uwe.
 
J.G.Blue. said:
My Farmer friend told me he had a female sheep that kept leaving the rest of the flock so I went to have a look & he pointed to a single sheep on its own in the distance and said............ Thats The Wander Off Uwe.
Click to expand...
There was a mythical bird which used to haunt Strangeways. It had huge wings and a purple beak. I saw it one day soaring over the brewery and asked a prison officer what it was. Oh, he said: “That’s the Jailhouse Roc.”
 
A beautiful woman is standing on a bridge, looking over the side and thinking about jumping off.

A homeless man walks up to her.

She sees the man coming and says, "Go away! There's nothing you can say to change my mind!"

He says, "Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it."

"Absolutely not! You're disgusting!", she replies.

The man turns and starts walking away.

"Is that all you're going to say? You're not going to try to convince me that life is worth living? Where are you going?"

"I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm!"
 
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