Joke thread

Bill Clinton and the Pope both died on the same day.

Due to a clerical error, the Pope went to Hell, while Clinton went to Heaven.

When the Pope arrived in Hell, everyone realized the mistake. Due to an issue with the union, they couldn't swap the two until the next day, and the Pope had to spend the night in Hell, while Clinton spent the night in Heaven.

The next day the paperwork got worked out. On his way up to Heaven, the Pope ran into Clinton. Clinton asked the Pope, "How was your night in Hell?"

"Very educational," responded the Pope. "I've learned a lot from the experience, but now I'm glad I'm going to Heaven. I've been waiting all my life to meet the Virgin Mary."

"Ooh, sorry," said Clinton, "you should have been here yesterday."
 
A sign in a restaurant window reads, "If you order it and we don't have it, you instantly win a million dollars."

A man walking by notices the sign and walks into the restaurant, sitting down with a smirk. The waiter asks for his order, and the man requests "white rhinoceros stew."

Surprisingly, the waiter returns with a steaming bowl of exactly that. The man, taken aback, eats the expensive meal and leaves angrily after paying.

The next day, he returns with the same smirk and orders "bullet ants stuffed with dolphin meat."

The waiter promptly brings him his requested dish. Once again, the man, surprised, eats his meal, pays, and leaves in frustration.

On the third day, he sits down and asks for "a lactating mermaid breast sandwich."

After a few minutes, the waiter returns with two large duffle bags containing one million dollars. Ecstatic, the man exclaims, "I knew it! You don't have mermaid breast!"

The waiter politely responds, "We actually do, sir. We just ran out of bread."
 
Lavinda Past said:
A sign in a restaurant window reads, "If you order it and we don't have it, you instantly win a million dollars."

A man walking by notices the sign and walks into the restaurant, sitting down with a smirk. The waiter asks for his order, and the man requests "white rhinoceros stew."

Surprisingly, the waiter returns with a steaming bowl of exactly that. The man, taken aback, eats the expensive meal and leaves angrily after paying.

The next day, he returns with the same smirk and orders "bullet ants stuffed with dolphin meat."

The waiter promptly brings him his requested dish. Once again, the man, surprised, eats his meal, pays, and leaves in frustration.

On the third day, he sits down and asks for "a lactating mermaid breast sandwich."

After a few minutes, the waiter returns with two large duffle bags containing one million dollars. Ecstatic, the man exclaims, "I knew it! You don't have mermaid breast!"

The waiter politely responds, "We actually do, sir. We just ran out of bread."
Click to expand...
That’s not funny at all!
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