Joke thread

[KS55]

Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly. So the morgue needed someone to identify the body. His two best friends, Seamus and Sean, were sent for. Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet.

Seamus said "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over".

So the mortician rolled him over. Seamus looked and said "Nope, it ain't Paddy."

The mortician thought that was rather strange and then he brought Sean in to identify the body.

Sean took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over."

The mortician rolled him over and Sean looked down and said, "No, it ain't Paddy."

The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"

Sean said, "Well, Paddy had two arseholes."

"What? He had two arseholes?" asked the mortician.

"Yup, everyone knew he had two arseholes. Every time we went into town, folks would say, 'Here comes Paddy with them two arseholes....'"

You could say Paddy had ::

 

[RadcliffeRick]

It certainly isn’t cricket!

I love that reply. It certainly got him stumped.

 

[citymad]

Our pregnant cat swallowed a ball of yarn last night.
Woke up this morning and found she had mittens.

 

[fanatic1]

The grim reaper came for me last night. Scary! But I managed to fend him off with my vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death

 

[Vienna_70]

I love that reply. It certainly got him stumped.

This thread is spinning out of control.

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[citymad]

The nun was having a bath one day and hears a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" she says
"It's the blind man from the village"
The Nun figures thats okay, "come on in, I'm in here"
Man walks in and says. "Now where do you want me to hang these blinds?"

 

[RadcliffeRick]

The nun was having a bath one day and hears a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" she says
"It's the blind man from the village"
The Nun figures thats okay, "come on in, I'm in here"
Man walks in and says. "Now where do you want me to hang these blinds?"

The vicar of Dibley??

 

[One Fan Clapping]

The vicar of Dibley??

Nah, it's older than that! :)

 

[Grassland Blue]

The nun was having a bath one day and hears a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" she says
"It's the blind man from the village"
The Nun figures thats okay, "come on in, I'm in here"
Man walks in and says. "Now where do you want me to hang these blinds?"

I saw that one coming.....