Joke thread

Three dinosaurs come across a magic lamp. They rub the lamp and out pops a genie who grants them three wishes. The first dinosaur asks for a big hunk of meat. The second dinosaur, looking to one-up the first, asks for a shower of meat. Not to be outdone, the third dinosaur asks for a meatier shower
 
An
army general is newly stationed in a desert post. On his first day, he calls for a soldier to show him around. While doing this, he notices a camel randomly tied to a tent.

He asks the soldier, “Soldier, why is that camel tied to the tent?”

The soldier looks awkward and answers, “Er, well Sir, as you know there are no women on the base so er, the camel is there for when the men get certain…um…urges”

The general nods in understanding And says, “Well I don’t condone this behaviour, but I suppose I understand”

A few weeks into the post, the general starts feelings these urges himself. He calls for the soldier to bring the camel to his tent. He then goes outside, gets a stool, and has wild animal sex with the camel.

After he’s finished, he climbs confidently off of the stool and sees the soldier staring at him, wide-eyed.

“So” the general says with a grin, “Is that how you boys do it here?”

The soldier answers, still wide-eyed, “No Sir, we usually just ride the camel into the nearby town where the women are”"
 
chris63 said:
An
army general is newly stationed in a desert post. On his first day, he calls for a soldier to show him around. While doing this, he notices a camel randomly tied to a tent.

He asks the soldier, “Soldier, why is that camel tied to the tent?”

The soldier looks awkward and answers, “Er, well Sir, as you know there are no women on the base so er, the camel is there for when the men get certain…um…urges”

The general nods in understanding And says, “Well I don’t condone this behaviour, but I suppose I understand”

A few weeks into the post, the general starts feelings these urges himself. He calls for the soldier to bring the camel to his tent. He then goes outside, gets a stool, and has wild animal sex with the camel.

After he’s finished, he climbs confidently off of the stool and sees the soldier staring at him, wide-eyed.

“So” the general says with a grin, “Is that how you boys do it here?”

The soldier answers, still wide-eyed, “No Sir, we usually just ride the camel into the nearby town where the women are”"
Click to expand...
Anyone seen Lavinda ?
 
chris63 said:
An
army general is newly stationed in a desert post. On his first day, he calls for a soldier to show him around. While doing this, he notices a camel randomly tied to a tent.

He asks the soldier, “Soldier, why is that camel tied to the tent?”

The soldier looks awkward and answers, “Er, well Sir, as you know there are no women on the base so er, the camel is there for when the men get certain…um…urges”

The general nods in understanding And says, “Well I don’t condone this behaviour, but I suppose I understand”

A few weeks into the post, the general starts feelings these urges himself. He calls for the soldier to bring the camel to his tent. He then goes outside, gets a stool, and has wild animal sex with the camel.

After he’s finished, he climbs confidently off of the stool and sees the soldier staring at him, wide-eyed.

“So” the general says with a grin, “Is that how you boys do it here?”

The soldier answers, still wide-eyed, “No Sir, we usually just ride the camel into the nearby town where the women are”"
Click to expand...
 
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A cowboy rides into town and goes straight to the mayors office, he says I want to be the sheriff of this here town , the mayor says this is the most law abiding town in the west we don’t need a sheriff! The cowboy sees a wanted poster on the wall and says what about that guy ? If I bring him in can I be the sheriff? The mayor says ok if you bring him in the jobs yours for life! The cowboy says have you got a description? The mayor says… he wears a brown paper hat,brown paper waistcoat,brown paper trousers and has a brown paper saddle on his horse!
The cowboy says what’s he wanted for? The mayor says … Rustling!
 
An updated version of an ageing joke.

A them is running down the street" shouting, "Grape, grape, we've just been graped!"

A passer by says "surely you mean you've been raped!"

"No - there was a bunch of 'em".....
 
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