Joke thread

[Uwe Already]

If you’re addicted to seaweed - sea kelp

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[NZBlue]

View attachment 147793

what am I missing here?

 

[bluemanc16]

I told Mrs Lavinda: "It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you, there's nothin' that a hundred men or more could ever do"

She said, "That's an eighties song lyric!"

I said, "I know... I have Toto recall."

Welcome back, you have been missed

 

[Citizen of Legoland]

what am I missing here?

There’s two ways to read it.

 

[Lavinda Past]

There’s two ways to read it.

With glasses on and without

 

[shemnel]

With glasses on and without

LONG LIVE THE KING

 

[Hertzblue]

 

[toolah1511]

what am I missing here?

Took me a while. But then again I am a moron

 

[NZBlue]

Took me a while. But then again I am a moron

Well I'd seen that but thought that can't be it. Hmmmm!

 

[Lavinda Past]

Just heard on the news that the Pope is critical.

You'd think with him being so ill he'd lighten up. Maybe even pay someone a compliment for a change.

 

[Lavinda Past]

My local bakers are looking for someone to dress up to promote their bread products.

I think I'll give it a try .

I've always fancied myself as a roll model.

 

[Lavinda Past]

US Police have launched a hunt for a songwriter today who may have been involved in the homicide of the singer Roberta Flack

Police believe that the murder weapon was a song which was used to kill her softly

 

[Lavinda Past]

I got pulled over today and the copper asked if I knew why he pulled me over.....

I said "is it because you want to see how tall I am?"

He said "step out of the car sir"


See, I knew it.......

 

[Champions again in 2012]

My local bakers are looking for someone to dress up to promote their bread products.

I think I'll give it a try .

I've always fancied myself as a roll model.

That's barm'y'

 

[Lavinda Past]

I was looking up at my ceiling this morning. I must admit that it’s not the best.

But it’s up there.

 

[jimharri]

Took me a while. But then again I am a moron

Is your name Gordon, by any chance?

 

[Lavinda Past]

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?

That's one of the many questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse.

 

[Lavinda Past]

If i could change the colour of one of the seven dwarves, I would dye happy.