Joke thread

[mexico1970]

 

[Sam101]

Using only a .22 pistol I survived a grizzly bear attack.




My friend, who I shot in the knee, wasn't so lucky.

 

[Blue Mist]

confirmed

No, a "flange of gorillas" is not the correct term; a group of gorillas is correctly called a band, troop, or sometimes a whoop. "Flange of baboons" was a term invented for a comedy sketch, which later led to people mistakenly using it for gorillas

Is it me or are you to missing the point?

A flange means something entirely different.......... doesn't it ?


Oh so just me that's weird, fine.

 

[kippaxneil]

My mate has just got a job as a postman after being out of work for 18 months.
I'm really pleased for him...at least it'll keep him off the streets.

 

[Travellingman]

 

[Uwe Already]

More books:

Clearing Leaves by Ray King

Daring Mountaineers by Cliff Hanger

 

[Uwe Already]

Welcome to the book making club. Please, make yourself a tome

 

[chris63]

Shit on the wall by hooflung dung.

 

[Big mals fedora]

Russian rupture by ikika Bolockoff

 

[He’stheleftbackremember]

Little known fact. Danny Welbeck’s Dad, Stan, was a bomb disposal expert in the Army.

 

[johnny crossan]

I'm just back from a holiday in Spain. Whenever I'm there, I make a point of saying "muchos" to the locals.
It means a lot to them.

 

[JRockBlues]

Someone asked me what the ninth letter of the alphabet is.

It was a guess, but I was right.

 

[dickie davies]

I'm just back from a holiday in Spain. Whenever I'm there, I make a point of saying "muchos" to the locals.
It means a lot to them.

God bless him. True story
When our old friend Bill (DeNiro) went to Germany to watch a City game, he and a load of blues are drinking outside a pub and whenever a local walked by, Bill would stop them and ask if they spoke English
If they said yes, he would then ask "how do you say "yes, yes" in German"?
The German would obviously reply "ya ya"
To which Bill would carry on,
ya ya ya ya
ya ya ya ya
ya ya yaya toure

 

[johnny crossan]

God bless him. True story
When our old friend Bill (DeNiro) went to Germany to watch a City game, he and a load of blues are drinking outside a pub and whenever a local walked by, Bill would stop them and ask if they spoke English
If they said yes, he would then ask "how do you say "yes, yes" in German"?
The German would obviously reply "ya ya"
To which Bill would carry on,
ya ya ya ya
ya ya ya ya
ya ya yaya toure

Great man De Niro - Denton's finest ;-)

 

[bladdered]

 

[bladdered]

The wife just asked me whether I love football or her the most?
I said ''open your legs and I will show you''
Then I nutmegged her.

 

[mosssideblue]

More books:

Clearing Leaves by Ray King

Daring Mountaineers by Cliff Hanger

Back stabbers by Ben Dover

 

[ancoats]

Someone asked me what the ninth letter of the alphabet is.

It was a guess, but I was right.

I counted the alphabet and only counted 25 letters

I don't know WHY

 

[noseve]

My mate was complaining about his son Jake wasting money, when who should show up, but the lad himself, showing off his new 'anti-bullying' bracelet.

Seeing the look of disapproval on his dad's face, Jake quickly reassured him:
'it's ok, Dad, I didn't buy it - I stole it off this little ginger kid!'




Apologies to any gingers - had to choose some down-trodden group, and yours was the least offensive that came to mind... :-l

 

[sir baconface]