Joke thread

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

If he wants to borrow my lawnmower he can.

The Lord works in mysterious ways

 

[Bournemouth Blue]

Three nuns passed away

One was Mother Superior

At the Pearly gates St Peter said “ you have to answer one question correctly I will ring the bell to allow you to open the gate to Heaven.

First nun stepped up “what was the name of of the first man?”

“Adam”

Bell rang.

Second Nun “ what was the name of the first woman?”

“Eve”

Bell Rang.

Mother Superior lined up. St Peter explained that her question would be more difficult due to her hierarchy in the convent.

“What were the first words Eve said to Adam?”

Mother Superior frowned, rubbed her chin, hesitated, and said “Ooh that’s a hard one!”

Bell Rang

 

[RiversideBlue]

Three nuns passed away

One was Mother Superior

At the Pearly gates St Peter said “ you have to answer one question correctly I will ring the bell to allow you to open the gate to Heaven.

First nun stepped up “what was the name of of the first man?”

“Adam”

Bell rang.

Second Nun “ what was the name of the first woman?”

“Eve”

Bell Rang.

Mother Superior lined up. St Peter explained that her question would be more difficult due to her hierarchy in the convent.

“What were the first words Eve said to Adam?”

Mother Superior frowned, rubbed her chin, hesitated, and said “Ooh that’s a hard one!”

Bell Rang

The Vicar of Dibley likes this

 

[Ho Chi Man City]

Dukinfield is a small red brick village Cheshire village nestling in the foothills of the Pennines

I know mate, I live in Ashton I’m sorry to say (but in one of the nicer area’s).

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

I know mate, I live in Ashton I’m sorry to say (but in one of the nicer area’s).

Ashton has nice areas ? : )

 

[Dave Ewing's Back 'eader]

Ashton has nice areas ? : )

Loads! That\s why Ange wanted to be their MP,

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

Loads! That\s why Ange wanted to be their MP,

That would be the Ange that lives in Brighton : )

 

[Dave Ewing's Back 'eader]

That would be the Ange that lives in Brighton : )

And several other places, too, I believe!

 

[Ho Chi Man City]

Ashton has nice areas ? : )

Opposite the Heroes of Waterloo (where the Ashton City Supporters run from) on the old barracks, nice and quiet, lovely neighbours!

Now, let’s talk about Duky! :-)

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

Opposite the Heroes of Waterloo (where the Ashton City Supporters run from) on the old barracks, nice and quiet, lovely neighbours!

Now, let’s talk about Duky! :-)

I live there, what more do need to know : )

 

[Ho Chi Man City]

Loads! That\s why Ange wanted to be their MP,

Big gaff on Weymouth Road, less than a mile from my house, when I was a kid that house had a tennis court in the back garden, plastered with “Vote Labour” before the last election, no other houses on that road had any show of support.

 

[Ho Chi Man City]

I live there, what more do need to know : )

We run our unofficial supporters club from the Astley but it’s on the Stalybridge/Duky border, cracking pub, right price and staff are all great. 31 of us on the bus today.

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

We run our unofficial supporters club from the Astley but it’s on the Stalybridge/Duky border, cracking pub, right price and staff are all great. 31 of us on the bus today.

I know it well, used to drink in there when my mates daughter had it.
I only live about 10 minute walk away

 

[Ho Chi Man City]

I know it well, used to drink in there when my mates daughter had it.
I only live about 10 minute walk away

Call in for a beer one match day, good crowd in there, it’s a bit handy for the Mahal curry house as well!

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

Call in for a beer one match day, good crowd in there, it’s a bit handy for the Mahal curry house as well!

Will do

 

[Silva Citizen]

The Vicar of Dibley likes this

Father Ted wants to meet the vicar of Dibley !!

 

[chris63]

 

[Maintainin]

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[Oxhey foxy]

In the next James Bond film, two of Bond's old enemies are to be amalgamated into one super-baddie.

Blofeld and Oddjob are to be combined into a villain called.........Oddfeld

 

[Oxhey foxy]

I went into a shop and asked “Have you got any bulldog clips?”

The shopkeeper replied “No, but I’ve got a nice video of a Jack Russell”.