Joke thread

mrcunny said:
Just been into the loft and found a 1979 copy of the TV times,

Or as its now known - the sex offenders register

you writing anymore of your sex stories...now they WERE funny
 
stavros said:
mrcunny said:
Just been into the loft and found a 1979 copy of the TV times,

Or as its now known - the sex offenders register

you writing anymore of your sex stories...now they WERE funny

Ive got another 2 but some knobs were moaning,so i didnt bother again...find me the link and ill post um up..
 
Not quite the right thread, but...

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2013/jan/14/sepp-blatter-fifa" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2013 ... atter-fifa</a>
 
To the person who stole my microsoft office, I will hunt you down and I will batter you. You have my word.
 
beatmiester said:
What's the difference between a Kangeroo and a Kangeroot?

A Kangeroo is a two legged marsupial indigenous to Australia that bounces around a lot.


A Kangeroot is a Geordie stuck in a lift.


Poor effort. Doesnt really work

would be canny ger out

Kangeroot sounds more like someone saying they can get out.

Must try harder ;)
 
ChrisNUFC said:
beatmiester said:
What's the difference between a Kangeroo and a Kangeroot?

A Kangeroo is a two legged marsupial indigenous to Australia that bounces around a lot.


A Kangeroot is a Geordie stuck in a lift.


Poor effort. Doesnt really work

would be canny ger out

Kangeroot sounds more like someone saying they can get out.

Must try harder ;)



Erm...... Well he was only stuck for a short while before he realised he could get out........ Obviously :-)
 
Just love these tesco burgers very low in fat but worrying amounts of shergar


Just opened the fridge to check the use by date on my Tesco burgers and They're Off!!




Women should be like golf caddies!.....Either holding your balls or getting the fucking tee ready.



Please Mr cunny. More stories , they were the funniest thing on here for ages!

Loved the 'collection box in the bedroom one'
 
BELLENDER said:
"Palestine model shot dead in Israel"

I hope it was Wallace, I really like Gromit.

Brilliant! This joke made me laugh out loud, (had to read it twice before i got it though)
 
paphos-mcfc said:
MikeBlue said:
paphos-mcfc said:
Plasticine. Modelling clay.

nope........

it's a play on words. I'll put another way.

"Plasticine model shot dead in Israel"

I hope it was Wallace, I really like Gromit.

Or at least I hope that's what it is, otherwise, I'm the thick ****! ;)



How about "Morph in palastine rape gang shocker!"...
 
york away to this! said:
paphos-mcfc said:
MikeBlue said:
nope........

it's a play on words. I'll put another way.

"Plasticine model shot dead in Israel"

I hope it was Wallace, I really like Gromit.

Or at least I hope that's what it is, otherwise, I'm the thick ****! ;)



How about "Morph in palastine rape gang shocker!"...

Playdoh phile?
 
kashmir said:
york away to this! said:
paphos-mcfc said:
it's a play on words. I'll put another way.

"Plasticine model shot dead in Israel"

I hope it was Wallace, I really like Gromit.

Or at least I hope that's what it is, otherwise, I'm the thick ****! ;)



How about "Morph in palastine rape gang shocker!"...

Playdoh phile?

dirty bastard... modelled himself on those chaps in oxford.
 

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