Joke thread

[MELOblue]

Just bought my girlfriend an MUFC bra ....... she hates it.
She says the support is terrible and it won't be long till the tits are out of both cups!

 

[Damocles]

Just bought my girlfriend an MUFC bra ....... she hates it.
She says the support is terrible and it won't be long till the tits are out of both cups!

 

[mrcunny]

I've just paid for my wife and her mother to go to Paris for two weeks. That's how much I hate the fucking French

 

[Lavinda Past]

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Quasimodo

That name rings a bell... Why did you knock?

 

[Italian Manc]

Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates?


...because he's married.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

My mate Paddy told me he robbed a shop last night.

"What did you get?" I asked.

"26 pictures," he smiled,showing me."The cheapest one is worth over £180,000."

I said,"Dude,these are from an estate agents."

 

[Pelly Greeny]

A 70 year old woman is admiring Wayne Rooneys arse as he walks past in a pair of tight jeans

Ehhhhh if I only were 20 years older she thinks.

 

[kawkav]

Manchester United were once the Goliath of English football,

then along came David.....

_______________________________________

In 1958, Manchester United were involved in a tragic air crash.

Now, in 2014, they're involved in an hilarious train wreck.

___________________________________________

To be fair, Old Trafford is a hard place to win a game of football
…..
Just ask David Moyes

_________________________________

What do Christmas turkey and David Moyes have in common?

both will be frightened, stuffed and sitting In the middle of the table at Christmas.

____________________________________

after Thomas Hitzlsperger's came out. His former team West Ham United came out in support in league cup by showing they are also not very tight at the back.



and before you say, yes this are from sickipedia . I found them funny and wanted to share them with you

 

[Alex the Blue]

Manchester United were once the Goliath of English football,

then along came David.....

_______________________________________

In 1958, Manchester United were involved in a tragic air crash.

Now, in 2014, they're involved in an hilarious train wreck.

___________________________________________

To be fair, Old Trafford is a hard place to win a game of football
…..
Just ask David Moyes

_________________________________

What do Christmas turkey and David Moyes have in common?

both will be frightened, stuffed and sitting In the middle of the table at Christmas.

____________________________________

after Thomas Hitzlsperger's came out. His former team West Ham United came out in support in league cup by showing they are also not very tight at the back.



and before you say, yes this are from sickipedia . I found them funny and wanted to share them with you

I found them funny, so thankyou for sharing.

 

[mancitymick]

I was teaching my science class about the female anatomy:

"This is the vagina. This is the clitoris, and this is the anus. Any questions?"

"Yes," said one of the pupils, "Can I put my knickers back on now?"