Joke thread

[BlueBearBoots]

I was in a supermarket and a woman at a tester stall said "Hello! Would you like to try a piece of this new ham?"
I said "Is it cured?"
She said "No, it's dead"



Haha TS joke of the day!

 

[TangerineSteve17]

I'm terrible at golf, way below par.

Been trying everything to get my young stepson to love me. I'm even letting him win at hopscotch. It's making no difference though. Ah well, back to square one.

Nobody reads my great jokes, argh who am I trying to kid?

 

[jimharri]

I was in a supermarket and a woman at a tester stall said "Hello! Would you like to try a piece of this new ham?"
I said "Is it cured?"
She said "No, it's dead"



Haha TS joke of the day!

I'd stick to the painting if I were you D!

 

[flyer]

My mate has his own business selling bonsai trees.

He's doing so well, he's looking for smaller premises

 

[Ancient Citizen]

My Mrs says sex is much better on holiday.
I wasn't expecting that kind of postcard.

 

[pudge]

When copy and paste goes wrong...

 

[jimharri]

There's a hell of a lot in there that could be considered borderline ban-worthy. Where would you start if you're a mod?

 

[TangerineSteve17]

Benefit of the doubt surely, surely he didn't read that lot before copying and pasting.

 

[SteWadda]

"A Paki Bastard" is the worse one, it's not even trying to be a joke.

 

[TangerineSteve17]

Just when I thought I had contaminated the thread to only post clean puns.. :) The infection is incomplete. Must try harder.

 

[jimharri]

Benefit of the doubt surely, surely he didn't read that lot before copying and pasting.

Perhaps he should have? If he'd even read just the first half dozen or so lines, he'd have got some idea of the tone of the article.

 

[TangerineSteve17]

Yep good point. And you snuck in a joke there... Article. Pah!

 

[jimharri]

Yep good point. And you snuck in a joke there... Article. Pah!

I was being generous; he had to c+p it from somewhere!

 

[bornblueegg]

pushing it...

 

[noely]

eeeek

 

[TangerineSteve17]

Ah well it's gone now. Back to the friendly jokes.

My mate was upset about his looks, so I decided to embrace him. He said awkwardly "It's my big nose I don't like, there's nothing wrong with my teeth!"

 

[jimharri]

Is he still alive, or has he gone on a little break?

 

[aguero93:20]

Is he still alive, or has he gone on a little break?

Maybe just keeping his head down?

 

[dronefromsector7g]

Is he still alive, or has he gone on a little break?

Who, what, when?

PM if need be

 

[jimharri]

Is he still alive, or has he gone on a little break?

Who, what, when?

PM if need be

No need for pms. There was a joke on here which was borderline (probably over that line actually, seeing as the post has been pulled). Several racist comments in it, as well as a lot of poor taste ones. I was just wondering if the poster is still with us, that's all. Don't ask me to repeat the joke (even by pm). It was too long winded to remember, a copy and paste effort that the poster presumably didn't read through properly before he posted it.