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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
M
M
mat
Guest
Where the feck have you been hiding bud?Bozo said:Did anyone hear the joke about butter?
I would tell you, but you might spread it. Ha.
Two Gun Bob
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Talking about spreadables
How can you tell an elephants been in the fridge
By its paw marks in the butter
I told that joke at Butlins in 1965 and everyone was in hysterics ;
Not so sure now : 0
How can you tell an elephants been in the fridge
By its paw marks in the butter
I told that joke at Butlins in 1965 and everyone was in hysterics ;
Not so sure now : 0
aguero93:20
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How many elephants can you fit in a mini?
4, 2 in the front, 2 in the back.
4, 2 in the front, 2 in the back.
Two Gun Bob
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Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: "Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"
Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses
A: Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.
Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?
A: "Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"
Q: What is the difference between en elephant and a plum?
A: An elephant is grey.
Q: What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: "Look! A herd of plums in the distance" (Jane is colour blind)
Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.
Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Remove elephant.
3. Insert giraffe.
4. Close door.
Q. The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He invited all the animals in the jungle, and they all came except one. Which one?
A. The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge.
PS
One more spreadable gagg
Have you heard the secret about butter
I don't want to tell you because you might spread it around...
That's my favourite !!!
I do need my inhaler I cannot breath !
Must be the beer : o
Bon nuit its been really grand on here tonight
A: "Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"
Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses
A: Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.
Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?
A: "Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"
Q: What is the difference between en elephant and a plum?
A: An elephant is grey.
Q: What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: "Look! A herd of plums in the distance" (Jane is colour blind)
Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.
Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Remove elephant.
3. Insert giraffe.
4. Close door.
Q. The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He invited all the animals in the jungle, and they all came except one. Which one?
A. The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge.
PS
One more spreadable gagg
Have you heard the secret about butter
I don't want to tell you because you might spread it around...
That's my favourite !!!
I do need my inhaler I cannot breath !
Must be the beer : o
Bon nuit its been really grand on here tonight
JoeMercer'sWay
Well-Known Member
I want Tangerine Steve back, at least his were funny.
JoeMercer'sWay said:I want Tangerine Steve back, at least his were funny.
Oh no they weren't
Come on children join in..............
Mad Eyed Screamer
Moderator
What do you call a deaf elephant?
Call it what you want, it wont hear you?
Call it what you want, it wont hear you?
Mad Eyed Screamer
Moderator
How many Beetles can you get in a car?
6
Two in the front, two in the back and John + George in the ash tray
6
Two in the front, two in the back and John + George in the ash tray
aguero93:20
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I always heard that one told as "what do you call a gorilla with bananas in his ears?"Mad Eyed Screamer said:What do you call a deaf elephant?
Call it what you want, it wont hear you?
Blue Til Death
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Two goldfish in a bowl, how do you know the one in front is called Bob..?
aguero93:20
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What's red, black and white and can't run around corners?
A nun with a javelin through her head.
A nun with a javelin through her head.
Pelly Greeny
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But there was only four of them.Mad Eyed Screamer said:How many Beetles can you get in a car?
6
Two in the front, two in the back and John + George in the ash tray
aguero93:20
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And they weren't Beetles, they were Beatles. Bloody Yanks. ;)Pelly Greeny said:But there was only four of them.Mad Eyed Screamer said:How many Beetles can you get in a car?
6
Two in the front, two in the back and John + George in the ash tray
talkativesprout
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aguero93:20 said:What's red, black and white and hates Wombles?
.
aguero93:20
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Tut tut. Mickey Mouse FC have no right to that moniker.talkativesprout said:aguero93:20 said:What's red, black and white and hates Wombles?
.
talkativesprout
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My apologies lets get back to so serious comedyaguero93:20 said:Tut tut. Mickey Mouse FC have no right to that moniker.talkativesprout said:aguero93:20 said:What's red, black and white and hates Wombles?
.
How does a dog feel the day after a piss up?
WOOF
:)
When a customer slid into the barber chair, the barber asked him how he wanted his hair cut.
"Make it short," the customer replied, "with a bare patch above my left ear, but longer on the right side so that it covers my right ear. I also want my left sideburn above my left ear and the right sideburn below my right ear."
The barber looked puzzled and said, "I don't think I can do that."
The customer replied, "I don't know why not--that's the way you cut it the last time I was here!"
"Make it short," the customer replied, "with a bare patch above my left ear, but longer on the right side so that it covers my right ear. I also want my left sideburn above my left ear and the right sideburn below my right ear."
The barber looked puzzled and said, "I don't think I can do that."
The customer replied, "I don't know why not--that's the way you cut it the last time I was here!"