Life without kids??

[SWP's back]

You will change your mind.

First I want to say that this reply isn't meant to be any offence to you personally.

Having said that "oh you'll change your mind" is the most patronising thing that people with children can say.

I really won't, I have zero interest in having children and I speak for all childless couples when I say that we really couldn't give a shit for hearing about what little Johnny is up to now either.

Some (most) people want children, have children, are over the moon with their off spring. But there's a good proportion of us that are more than happy together without them. My sister is a born mother, it was her chosen vocation almost from the time she could form a sentence together. Her husband is a great father. I have three amazing nephews. I totally understand why some people want children, I really do and my eldest nephew is 11 and has been on the books at Blackburn for four years now and I beam with pride at his accomplishments. But after an hour with the fuckers I can't wait to get away.

Children aren't for everyone and I have lots of clients who are in their 50's and 60's, are nicely well off, have a great life and no sadness at not having had any.

It's personal preference I think.

 

[bluebaja]

I had 2 kids, they grew up, I remarried and had 3 more. I have therefore experienced adult life, in many ways, in both worlds. My view is neither is better. As SWP's back said, suits some and not others, and I don't believe either scenario is better overall, they are just very, very different. Hope you manage to sort it out, but whatever, don't have any regrets.

 

[r.soleofsalford]

Make no mistake about it. The relationship between man and woman is always weaker than the relationship between a woman and her children. In other words once you have children you are going to be the weakest member of the family.

I've never been desperate for kids and I got lucky in the fact the girl I married is even more sure that she never wants kids than I am.

She's also a teacher, so gets her fill of the little fuckers every day at work.

I have noticed a running theme on this thread and amongst our friends that have had kids. The parents completely change, it's like a scary zombie/epidemic film where everyone infected suddenly can't hear their little sweethearts screaming in restaurants and think the rest of us need several pictoral updates of how their slug looks everyday on Facebook.

Big nope.

Everybody to their own, thats including discipline my would never of created in a restaurant. I believed in smacking when the genuine need arises that includes the wife 8-)

 

[worsleyweb]

First I want to say that this reply isn't meant to be any offence to you personally.

Having said that "oh you'll change your mind" is the most patronising thing that people with children can say.

I really won't, I have zero interest in having children and I speak for all childless couples when I say that we really couldn't give a shit for hearing about what little Johnny is up to now either.

Some (most) people want children, have children, are over the moon with their off spring. But there's a good proportion of us that are more than happy together without them. My sister is a born mother, it was her chosen vocation almost from the time she could form a sentence together. Her husband is a great father. I have three amazing nephews. I totally understand why some people want children, I really do and my eldest nephew is 11 and has been on the books at Blackburn for four years now and I beam with pride at his accomplishments. But after an hour with the fuckers I can't wait to get away.

Children aren't for everyone and I have lots of clients who are in their 50's and 60's, are nicely well off, have a great life and no sadness at not having had any.

It's personal preference I think.

Fair enough. None of mine were planned and I can see when you are having a decent life the last thing you may want is the bombshell of kids but I have also seen a lot of successful people get to 40 and get the urge! Never say never.

 

[jay_mcfc]

First I want to say that this reply isn't meant to be any offence to you personally.

Having said that "oh you'll change your mind" is the most patronising thing that people with children can say.

I really won't, I have zero interest in having children and I speak for all childless couples when I say that we really couldn't give a shit for hearing about what little Johnny is up to now either.

Some (most) people want children, have children, are over the moon with their off spring. But there's a good proportion of us that are more than happy together without them. My sister is a born mother, it was her chosen vocation almost from the time she could form a sentence together. Her husband is a great father. I have three amazing nephews. I totally understand why some people want children, I really do and my eldest nephew is 11 and has been on the books at Blackburn for four years now and I beam with pride at his accomplishments. But after an hour with the fuckers I can't wait to get away.

Children aren't for everyone and I have lots of clients who are in their 50's and 60's, are nicely well off, have a great life and no sadness at not having had any.

It's personal preference I think.

You might not change your mind and you might think this is patronising but there's at least a decent chance your missus will. Women's hormones do weird things from the mid-thirties onwards and once the clock starts ticking the feelings will intensify.

 

[worsleyweb]

You might not change your mind and you might think this is patronising but there's at least a decent chance your missus will. Women's hormones do weird things from the mid-thirties onwards and once the clock starts ticking the feelings will intensify.

Very first date with my Mrs she says I don't do kids. Just left her to go to the gym. 3 kids sat in her bed eating spaghetti watching scooby do.

 

[the plasterer]

ive got 5 kids, 3 gran kids, another gran kid due next week, its been hard graft all my life, missed out on lots of things, lads holidays, concerts etc etc due to kids, but i personally wouldnt swap it for anything, each to their own of course

 

[OB1]

Must admit I'm looking forward to the day where I have to wake them up.

Don't be too sure.

 

[LWashington]

About 20 years ago when my niece was in Y7/Y8 got tasked with bringing her and a her mate from a football tournament. I'd had nothing to eat all day so I decided to pull into this little chef / wimpy (not sure if that's right feel free to correct me ) . We ordered and they both went to the bathroom. After about 10 mins my niece had come back no sign of her mate. So i asked her to go check.
She came back and said "she says she's having a massive dump" . Top of her voice.
Lets just say about half of the restaurant walked out.

 

[OB1]

Make no mistake about it. The relationship between man and woman is always weaker than the relationship between a woman and her children. In other words once you have children you are going to be the weakest member of the family.

This, I think, is almost inevitably true. The pull in the first place to be a mother and the bond they have with there children is natrually very strong.

We had children relatively late in life, in part because once we stopped taking precautions nothing happened. We got to a point where it "suddenly" became a big deal, especially for my wife. I was prepared to leave things to fate but she insisted we sought medical advice; no reason could be identified but started down the fertility treatment route, thankfully we never got to the point of deciding on IVF, which I was not in favour of. We didn't need to make that decision because the treatment helped; really helped because we ended up with twin girls, which we knew was a possibility because treatment involved injections to stimulate egg production; obviously the girls, who are now 15, are not identical twins.

I don't know what would have happened if we had not gone down the fertility treatment route and whether there would have been regrets but I can say that I have zero regrets about having children. The unconditional love that you feel the moment you first see them is quite incredible and does not go away. They do change your life and there are certainly ups and downs - teenage girls are something from another planet.

The main downside with kids is not that they put restrictions on your life or cost an absolute fortune but that you can never ever stop worrying about them. The upsides are many and various. Two highlights for me this last week were last night Twin 1, who is lot of a Mummy's girl, quite out of the blue asked me for a cuddle and curled up on the sofa while we watched a movie. Neither girl is what you would call much of a football fan but Twin 2 has been to some games this season, her first ones, and last Sunday was really keen to go to the Pep unveiling so we have a lovely day out doing just that, and it is a day out when you live 180 miles from the CFA. My family like to complain that I love City more than them but it ain't so, not even close, and that hopefully gives some perspective.