Masturbation have you ever been caught? Men and Women

I've been on the other end of it.

Coming back from school aged about 15 on the bus, top deck.

As we passed this little wood by the side of the road we were all stunned (all the lads at the back of the top deck) to see a bloke in the woods, clear as day, beating his meat furiously. He thought he couldn't be seen but our high vantage point gave us a clear view. We even knew who he was, a well known punk, although I won't name him for obvious reasons. We thought it was the funniest thing we'd ever seen.

It wasn't so funny a year or two later. The same punk got sent down for raping an 11 year old girl, less than half a mile from where we'd seen him.
 
how do you masterbate, i think i ve been missing out...spot the spelling mistake, told you i didn t know what it is
 
mcfc_die_hard said:
Thought i wud smash one out over the porn late doors on the tele.

Next thing i know i wake up the house is empty and i have a bru and toast next to me that i deffo didnt make :L

Never mentioned out about it since
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Urban myth this one, come on lets hear a real story!
 
Yep, there are a few urban myths already on this thread, just like on the Soiling Yourself one.

The funny ones are only funny because they are real.

Keep it honest please. You know who you are.
 
long story but about 16 out on some rollerblades....i needed a shit....i went upstairs with my skates still on....did my business then felt the urge for a quick power wank.....i whipped down my shorts then hear someone not walking...but sounded like sprinting upstairs....my face like a beetroot at this point.

I try to pull my pants up but my shorts were caught on the brake on the heel on my skates....i then grabbed my porn mag at the time and scrunched it up looking guilty as fuck when my mum walks past pretending she didn't see out...

I then for some obsecure reason ripped up my playstation magazine and took it to the downstairs bin as if to show her i were scrunching that up haha....fuck knows why but i did hahahaha

Still makes me cringe to this day
 
Citycitytid said:
long story but about 16 out on some rollerblades....i needed a shit....i went upstairs with my skates still on....did my business then felt the urge for a quick power wank.....i whipped down my shorts then hear someone not walking...but sounded like sprinting upstairs....my face like a beetroot at this point.

I try to pull my pants up but my shorts were caught on the brake on the heel on my skates....i then grabbed my porn mag at the time and scrunched it up looking guilty as fuck when my mum walks past pretending she didn't see out...

I then for some obsecure reason ripped up my playstation magazine and took it to the downstairs bin as if to show her i were scrunching that up haha....fuck knows why but i did hahahaha

Still makes me cringe to this day
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you should have locked the door? Or do you just shite anywhere you want?
 
A little tip for you mate.

If you're gojng to have a wank, or for that matter a shit, close and then lock the door behind you.

That's what the rest of the English-speaking world do.
 
after the shit...went to my bedroom should i state

fuck it sounds so wrong but its like 9 years ago haha
 
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