Meeting Rag Players & ******* Them Off!

[nigel]

During the war, I volunteered to be a German spy and wrote to Adolf Hitler telling him the swamp was actually a synagogue and everyone who was anyone was going to be at a meeting there on March 11th 1941.

I got caught by MI5 and was hung but worth it to see the look on their faces when they turned up for the next home match.

F**king brill...you've just qualified fior a huge discount on (should your order) a "This is Our City" tee shirt ....genius post

 

[Blumers Bloomers]

Re: Meeting Rag Players & Pissing Them Off!

what would you any of you do if you was working on nanis new house that is just in the first stages of being built...?

Just before you leave for the last time put some frozen prawns somewhere no one will find. under floorboard before laying carpet is a good place.

Take a leak in some of those fancy plug in air freshners, then plug them in the week before he moves in......

 

[MOSTON_BLUE_88]

A couple of days after the derby when neville passed the ball to the goat, I was at my dads works when neville pulls up on the other side of the road, all the city lads at the works just ran out at him singing "feed the goat" until he scattered! it was quality!

 

[BlueBalls]

met old red rose at a wedding a few years ago...he was very charming...imagine my disappointment.

 

[bluestud]

Re: Meeting Rag Players & Pissing Them Off!

Back when Tommy Doc was their manager I was working in Jimmy Saville's club when Lou Macari came in. I said "Oi, Lou, why aren't you serving in the chippy".

He wasn't happy.

Anyway, when he left his coat in the locker room I went over, told them I had been told to get it for him and take it to him and took it out the back.

The night before I had had toad in the hole for tea and had awful constipation. I dropped my pants and with al the might I could muster, desposited a log in his coat pocket.

When he came back a few hours later he was fuming, you should have seen his face. He started shouting 'Someone has had a shit in my coat pocket. I've been had over again by those damn City fans'.

Anyway, I wasn't there to witness this as the effort I had to muster to overcome the constipation was so much that I had ruptured my anal passage. I got a mate to take the coat back to the cloak room but I was writhing in agony on the floor and an ambulance had to be called. Two hours later I was having life saving surgery. Imagine my surprise when I woke up the following day and two coppers were waiting to arrest me. They had put two and two together and had me bang to rights for shitting in a coat.

I got five years, served three, lost my job and family and haven't seen any of my children in 30 years. Oh, and I have a plastic bag attached to my waist at all times now.

Still, got one over on that Rag Macari though, eh.

This is either a very deranged story or complete bullshit.

Complete bullshit!! LOL Can't believe some people fell for it!

 

[JohnMaddocksAxe]

How dare you!

 

[Dodge]

The night of the 3-1 derby win at Maine Road, I ended up in the Sugar Lounge and to my delight, hanging around the end of the bar was a certain Chuckle brother. The conversation went something like this..

"hiya Gary, thanks for that mate" (offering a hand-shake)
"no problem....." (shaking my hand)
"ermm thanks for what?" (still shaking my hand)
"feeding the Goat" (gripping his hand probably too tightly for maximum effect)
"fcuk off you prick" (removes hand)

Still gives me goose-bumps..

 

[Challenger1978]

Re: Meeting Rag Players & Pissing Them Off!

what would you any of you do if you was working on nanis new house that is just in the first stages of being built...?

Been done before but a good one still.

Buy a cheap pay as you go mobile. Fully charge the battery and wait until the job is closing on completion, with the aid of a sparky leave it on charge and either behind the plasterwork, in the cavity or under the floor. wait a couple of weeks until he has moved in and then ..... well I think you can see where this is going. we did this to a mate that had an extension built and believe me a ringing phone that cant be found can be a hell of a distraction. better still get bluemoon on it as a ringtone and ring all night before matches lol

Now that is sheer class.

 

[Ghost in my house]

Many of you sound like thoroughly horrible people and ought to be ashamed of your spitting, swearing and going out of your way to harrass someone.
JMA's fabrication, however, is a work of genius and is only topped by those who believed him!
I've encountered many utd players in my time and found them very pleasant and very, very good tippers.....inc a 50quid tip from Mr Beckham once.
Spitting in shoes......low life scum.

 

[mkblue]

Posted once before but my favorite moment in football

Last night I was at the MK DONS v PETERBOURGH game, a friend has a box so was in the good seats, I have to say I’d had eleventeen pints, I staggered to my seat and waited for the game to start, I looked to my left to see a mass media scrum, all of a sudden about 10 seats away was old whisky nose, it was like the parting of the sea, there he was, well I might never have a chance to do this ever again, so I staggered towards him and very politely said Sir Alex ( and there it was happening, my beautiful moment)I put my hand out to shake his hand, I could feel his hand almost touching mine, he looked me straight in the eye, tipped his head so he could hear me, I said I just wanted to thank you for the SIX points as I pulled my hand away, he turned his head away and said F*CK OFF, I turned to the crowd took a bow to raptures of laughter from everyone around

I thank you