Meeting Rag Players & ******* Them Off!

[maineroad68]

During the war, I volunteered to be a German spy and wrote to Adolf Hitler telling him the swamp was actually a synagogue and everyone who was anyone was going to be at a meeting there on March 11th 1941.

I got caught by MI5 and was hung but worth it to see the look on their faces when they turned up for the next home match.

i'm jewish and this is funny as fuck. awesome. as far as i'm concerned this is the truth and it really happened.

funnily enough, i was reading in my Manchester football book last night about us allowing to share our ground after they'd been bombed- and how gracious we were especially when it was the derby and we'd move to the away changing rooms and take up the away fans seats etc.

Also how we decided not to take their place in 58 European cup- out of respect for them.

Perversely, our kindness meant that a lot of 'Blues' switched allegiances and went back with them to the swamp when it was rebuilt- out of sympathy etc- and also in those days there wasn't the same rivalry as today- (still, they couldn't have been real Blues in the first place. Imagine that???)
Basically we showed them a lot of respect and kindness and in turn it helped them grow and nick some of our fans in the process, and if it wasn't for that those fuckers would have struggled to keep going after Munich- so when they bleat on about how we'll never be bigger than them because of the history of their club, they should remember-if it wasn't for us that's exactly what they'd be -HISTORY! .

Bunch of scummy twats.

 

[coleridge]

maineroad68, I couldn't agree more. Although I am muslim on my father's side [relevant for my later comment], my maternal great grandfather used to cycle with my gran from Burnage to Maine Road and watch City and United on alternate weeks. Apparently, everyone left their bikes unlocked in sheds behind the Kippax and collect them after the game. A different world, of course.

I also wanted to say on this sad anniversary, thinking back to those poor souls that lost their lives seven years ago, that people's minds have a way of distorting reality against the factually obvious, meaning that the world's problems didn't start with those terrible events of 9/11, despite what some would have you believe. Similarly, football didn't begin 16 years ago when the Premiership was formed. Anyway, that's enough of politics. All the best.

 

[maineroad68]

maineroad68, I couldn't agree more. Although I am muslim on my father's side [relevant for my later comment], my maternal great grandfather used to cycle with my gran from Burnage to Maine Road and watch City and United on alternate weeks. Apparently, everyone left their bikes unlocked in sheds behind the Kippax and collect them after the game. A different world, of course.

I also wanted to say on this sad anniversary, thinking back to those poor souls that lost their lives seven years ago, that people's minds have a way of distorting reality against the factually obvious, meaning that the world's problems didn't start with those terrible events of 9/11, despite what some would have you believe. Similarly, football didn't begin 16 years ago when the Premiership was formed. Anyway, that's enough of politics. All the best.

cheers and agree with your sentiments. now lets get back to some piss funny stories about pissing Rag players off!!

 

[Hotrocks]

A load of us went on the piss one night to wet one of the lads babies head. After the pubs shut we all piled in to the local curry house, the only tables available were next to Nicky Butt and his wife.
We all piled into him unmercilessly, until in attempt to calm us down he told the owner to present my mate with a magnum of champagne to celebrate the babies birth. My mate went over to him shook his hand and said "Cheers you ****** bastard" and shook his hand. Nicky Buttt just said "there is no need for that"

Ive got to say he was a top bloke!

 

[maineroad68]

my mate was on a flight to Scotland and she was sat next to this bloke. they got talking and he asked her what she did and she told him she worked for a worldwide renowned company to which he said his 'company' did some charity work with hers.

she asked what he did - and he said he worked in the 'leisure industry'. It wasn't until her mate told her, that she realised it was it was Fergie. (no- she hasn't been asleep for 30 years)

initially, i hate to say this , i was struck by his modesty. but looking at it from a different angle he was probably just ashamed to be associated with that bunch of tossers.

 

[BillyMC]

Had the privilege of being invited to COMS for an executive meal before a game about four years ago. As per usual in such circumstances I piled into the bar for anything I could get me hands on. The three course meal went well, washed down with another four stellas and large brandy after me pudding. Then a group of City legends appear to sign autographs...Asa Hartford, Buzzer, Doyle, Oakes, and for some bizarre reason Tony Coton. I offered my programme and all the greats sign....then Coton reached for a pen...we get eye contact ...I slowly start to hand him the programme.....when something in my head stopped me and the words "....no not you prick, no fucking turncoats ruining a programme signed by true city legends"...spills from my gob.

He looked startled as all the other city players pissed themselves....Coton then attempts to cuff me round the head and I fly into him....and we had to be separated.

Thats yuri geller for ya boys!!

Other incidents include a scuffle with Andy Dibble after a derby day defeat and a startled Alan Hansen having the pleasure of my drunken company on a London Manchester flight....he couldnt fucking wait to get off!!

 

[bluemoonlight]

Re: Meeting Rag Players & Pissing Them Off!

You really got those guys good.

I'll bet all their millions weren't any consolation to them.

I wouldn't be surprised if both of them still cry themselves to sleep over it.

Its the small victorys!!!!

Victory?, You spat in a shoe!!!!

Exactly! I love it. Think it was f'ing BRILLIANT. I would have done much worse to the tosser's brand new Air Max. Which reminds me: where are the links to the other bodily fluids replies?

 

[Smoothy B.]

I cant remember exactly which Derby win it was, but we,d beat the bastards again,and Roy Carroll had been in net for them. I went out for a couple of celebratory pints with the wife in my local, and of course was still wearing my City shirt. The pub was a bit full, so i sat at a table, that already had a couple of blokes sat at. Anyway, I noticed one of the blokes sat opposite (he looked a bit mean) was staring at me. I ignored the prick and carried on enjoying my pint and chatting to the wife about the great win etc etc. I glanced up a few minutes later, and noticed that it was Roy Carroll and his mate sat opposite!!! Fuckin fantastic, wed just beaten the twats, and there was their goalie, and there was me in my shirt waffling on about how wed leathered them!! The prick was giving my real naughty stares, but I hadnt noticed it was him!! I just carried on talking about the match, and looked up occassionally to grin at him!! Absolute quality. the pub was the Golden Fleece in Lymm, Carroll lived just round the corner before he got transfered to W.Ham. Great night that one!! Dont think Carroll agreed though.

 

[KolarovsLeftPeg]

Inspired by something i read on here earlier it got me thinking.....

Have any of you had the misfortune of meeting a rag player whilst working or while out and about and have you ever done anything to them to piss them off?

I'll give you an example....i used to work at Megabowl (the bowling alley) when Andy Cole came in with his lad. This was back in about 2000, while he was bowling in the smelliest/dirtyest pair of bowling shoes i could find, i went into the back where we kept the customers shoes and i spat into his brand new Nike Airs, he changed his shoes back and put them on without realising, putting his foot in my gob......much to my amusement!!!

I also had the extreme misfortune of serving that **** Keane whilst i worked for Rileys. He came in one afternoon and asked for a quiet table with his mate. After making him sign up at full price and give me his details, I gave him the crappest table we had (holes in/not straight), the shittest pice of chalk and dodgy cue. Then knowing how the dirty fucker wanted a quiet game, told some kids that were in which table he was on and gave them some paper to bug him for his autograph.....funny how i never got a tip when he came to the bar for a drink!!!!

Anybody got any stories??

I kecked Teddy Sheringham once and put it on youtube, cus' I'm a legend just like you.

 

[chrisi]

we passed ronaldo in his porsche in wilmslow on the bypass once an the lot of us wer hangin out the windows giving him the signs, he pulled over and let us go by the pussy :D