My bloody gardener has resigned. Advice wanted.

[Brightwell’s left peg]

Can you not get the butler to do it?

I think it’s probably a unionised environment with strict rules on doing work falling under other jurisdictions.

 

[aguero93:20]

I can’t believe we’ve got this far on Bluemoon and nobody has had a go at Pam for having a gardener in the first place. Sounds like a very Tory trait? Certainly wasn’t a worry when I was growing up in Ancoats, Beswick and Clayton.

Having said that, I was speaking to my Gardener the other day when he was trimming our extensive topiary collection and was thinking how difficult life would be without him.

Posh ****.

 

[Sir peace frog]

i try my hardest every year, this year i've lobbed some weed and seed on it, weeds seem to fucking love it, luckily its been raining on and off for my days off.

i was told to cut it so you basically take about a third of the top off, don't use a box,and the stuff thats cut off nourishes the soil, dot know how true that is, but ill be giving it a go this year.
my other project is to replace all the decking with tha fake decking when i can be arsed , seems like a dear do.

as for having a gardener, i would love that, but they wouldn't get access to my back garden

 

[Tuearts right boot]

I've been on YouTube watching vids about grass, too. And lawns. I've spread the seeds and now they're growing....how do i make that first cut?

Carefully

 

[Sir peace frog]

I've been on YouTube watching vids about grass, too. And lawns. I've spread the seeds and now they're growing....how do i make that first cut?

plenty of water, let the roots take hold, then move the lawn on the highest setting taking the tops off, don't go too low, don't use a box, let the clippings nourish the soil , or thats what the video i watched said , fuck knows haha

 

[KS55]

Do I stop being a chicken; buy a lawn mower; watch a You Tube video and risk scalping the thing. Or do do I hire a new Gardner? Advice from anyone who learnt how to garden a bit later in life would be much appreciated. Unless you trashed it all.

Nail scissors are good for the first cut.

 

[Brightwell’s left peg]

Posh ****.

That’s better!!!

 

[Barcon]

i try my hardest every year, this year i've lobbed some weed and seed on it, weeds seem to fucking love it, luckily its been raining on and off for my days off.

i was told to cut it so you basically take about a third of the top off, don't use a box,and the stuff thats cut off nourishes the soil, dot know how true that is, but ill be giving it a go this year.
my other project is to replace all the decking with tha fake decking when i can be arsed , seems like a dear do.

as for having a gardener, i would love that, but they wouldn't get access to my back garden

Tis all true. I take off about a third and leave the grass 2 1/2 - 3" tall.
Use a mulching mower and leave the clippings on the lawn.
They won't even take grass clippings away over here.

 

[Marklr]

plenty of water, let the roots take hold, then move the lawn on the highest setting taking the tops off, don't go too low, don't use a box, let the clippings nourish the soil , or thats what the video i watched said , fuck knows haha

Sounds good to me..

 

[ray21]

Pour whisky over the lawn then it comes up half cut.