Back in the day, there was a school feeder system into the professional teams. The Schools Representation System had control of your football “career” with clubs, or so they threatened you. I know because I was up at Sunderland when I got a call to come back to Manchester to play a representational game against Manchester Boys. I didn’t want to leave but was told in no uncertain terms what might happen. The club ended up getting me a taxi and a train ticket. I was picked up around 4 in the morning and taken to ”his” house for a few hours sleep before the game.
Nothing happened that time, but the grooming was pervasive. Meals before games, money to play the arcade in Piccadilly, a trip to the house to “help out with registration forms,” and then a “pre-match massage” on a towel, on the floor of his work office in town. Door locked, glass window shuttered, “don’t want to get the oil on you uniform, do we?” and the rest you can imagine. I made it clear, I was uncomfortable (to say the least), but when you are 14/15, went to be a pro, and the person has already threatened your fledgling career, what do you do? Well, you ask yourself questions, like “Did my Dad have to go through this?” “All the other lads don’t get this, so I must be special, right?” “If my Dad finds out he might kill the guy, so I have to cover it up.” “Is he puff, and he thinks I am one, too?”
You go mental thinking things, all while trying desperately to hide it, have as many girlfriends as possible and be as “heterosexual as possible,” just to make sure no one will know and to make certain you like girls.
I realized I was on longer his boy when, on the coach to Blackpool to play them, he came over to me and TOLD ME I WAS INJURED AND COULDN'T PLAY TODAY and that he was going to tell the coach I had just told him about it. He got up and went and sat with the coach, who immediately got up, came back to my seat and read me the riot act about getting a paid for day out in Blackpool, being deceptive and untrustworthy for not telling him, etc, etc, etc. I was never elected to play for them again.
That was all about 45 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday.
I know I did the right thing in not telling my Dad, because he would have beaten him to death. I even thought about it myself numerous times. He is dead now.
To this day, I know it affects me in ways I would prefer to keep private, so I can understand the players who cry while repeating their trauma for others. You feel shame, you fear that others will know (or find out) and tell everyone. You wonder if you caused it, and if so what was it that caused it so you don’t do it again...and on and on and on...
I‘m glad to hear that this predation is out in the open now and hope that things have changed for the better for young boys, and young girls (U.S. Gymnastics!).
Being the target of a sexual predator changes your life, often in ways you don’t even know, but you just learn to accept it as “that’s who I am now,” because not only do you not know any different but you can’t go back and change the past.
I will probably watch the show at some point, but I’m not looking forward to hearing the experiences of the players featured. It is testament to their strength that they both had a professional career such that we know them, and that they have the courage to speak out now.
I have had an email from a reporter in my inbox in her for a year or two now, asking me to speak to him about it. I never did, because I was a nobody and nothing in English football and it clearly happened to famous people, so who would care about me. Now that I see the numbers, I see that it was an epidemic spread by pedophiles and nonces below the surface of the game.