Psycho woman... help please!

malg said:
OK, so going off some of the replies on here, the answer to:

'Hiya big boy, how do fancy a shag?'

- from a good looking neighbour, would be

'No thanks, you live too nearby'


Yeah right..........
Click to expand...


Bullshit, you can see crazy a mile off. Everyone knows you stay well away from crazy ESPECIALLY if it lives next door.
 
On a side note, I'm currently eating a Pot Noodle (I know, I know) however I'm debating what it'd feel like if you were to dab your bollocks in. OP, you could possibly ask the woman to make you a Pot Noodle and watch you dab your bollocks in. It could potentially scare her off. If however she agrees, you need to report back on the Pot Noodle sensation.
 
MCFC-alan88 said:
malg said:
OK, so going off some of the replies on here, the answer to:

'Hiya big boy, how do fancy a shag?'

- from a good looking neighbour, would be

'No thanks, you live too nearby'


Yeah right..........
Click to expand...


Bullshit, you can see crazy a mile off. Everyone knows you stay well away from crazy ESPECIALLY if it lives next door.
Click to expand...
He only said she was crazy after he'd pumped her.
 
I haven't managed to read every response but I can sort of guess how helpful people have been so on a serious note I thought these might be useful, listed in order of need.

Stop cleaning your self 'down there' and then when you're good and crusty demand she fellate you.

Another idea, make sure that she knows you only want here in your life if her dad watches you shag, and films it.

Lastly take her driving one sunday as you look 'for roadkill for your collection' and casually drop into conversation that you like to pleasure yourself with the dead animals. "You havent lived until you've rimmed a dead badger" is a line that might be useful.

Let me know how you get on.
 
Go round, knock on the door, and talk to her civilized. Ask her what the problem is. Tell her you're not ready for a relationship and if she continues to bother you, bring the police.

A serious answer from Paphos?? No ignore all the above. Get a plastic takeaway tray and have a poo in it, go upstairs wearing pink bin liners and a saucepan on your head. Start singing 'Rule Britannia' and making a general commotion so she hears you, whilst smearing the poo over the wall and doors. Oh and while your doing this, make sure she's in!! She'll think you've lost the plot and won't bother you again. Keep her afraid too. Give her an evil grin and pretend to cat claw her as she passes you on the stairwell.
 
paphos-mcfc said:
Go round, knock on the door, and talk to her civilized. Ask her what the problem is. Tell her you're not ready for a relationship and if she continues to bother you, bring the police.

A serious answer from Paphos?? No ignore all the above. Get a plastic takeaway tray and have a poo in it, go upstairs wearing pink bin liners and a saucepan on your head. Start singing 'Rule Britannia' and making a general commotion so she hears you, whilst smearing the poo over the wall and doors. Oh and while your doing this, make sure she's in!! She'll think you've lost the plot and won't bother you again. Keep her afraid too. Give her an evil grin and pretend to cat claw her as she passes you on the stairwell.
Click to expand...

Paphos, you really have lived a full and interesting life haven't you mate? Haha!
 
Just insist on some seriously outrageous sex acts. Either she agrees to it or is so disgusted you scare her off. It's a win win.
 
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