Psycho woman... help please!

[paphos-mcfc]

Go round, knock on the door, and talk to her civilized. Ask her what the problem is. Tell her you're not ready for a relationship and if she continues to bother you, bring the police.

A serious answer from Paphos?? No ignore all the above. Get a plastic takeaway tray and have a poo in it, go upstairs wearing pink bin liners and a saucepan on your head. Start singing 'Rule Britannia' and making a general commotion so she hears you, whilst smearing the poo over the wall and doors. Oh and while your doing this, make sure she's in!! She'll think you've lost the plot and won't bother you again. Keep her afraid too. Give her an evil grin and pretend to cat claw her as she passes you on the stairwell.

Paphos, you really have lived a full and interesting life haven't you mate? Haha!

It works. I call it the scat-plaspan technique. I've put 2 women in straight jackets by doing this.
Ok it back fired once when one loony woman dropped her skirt at the site of me and the aroma of my fresh faeces. She then squatted down and began to crimp one off whilst saying "Mmmm,for you!"

I ran. Moved out for a while and had to change my phone number etc.. Wish I'd had a plan B. Oh well. Maybe a clown outfit?

 

[BoyBlue_1985]

Dig up a corpse and leave it at her front door

Or a horses head.

Fuck that she will think its an invite for a ready meal at his

 

[bluegirl74]

Of the advice above, the best is surely that you should never shit on your own doorstep but it's too late for that here.

What you need is a crazy female friend to turn up at her door, announce herself as your long term girlfriend who has been working away for a month and warn her off you. If you don't have such a friend, I'm happy to step in but am only free Thursday this week. ;-)

 

[Blue Streak]

Confuse her already confused mind.

"I love you too much to commit to you"

Ha ha the above comment sounds like personal experience?

 

[Blue Smarties]

Of the advice above, the best is surely that you should never shit on your own doorstep but it's too late for that here.

What you need is a crazy female friend to turn up at her door, announce herself as your long term girlfriend who has been working away for a month and warn her off you. If you don't have such a friend, I'm happy to step in but am only free Thursday this week. ;-)

What are you doing the other days of the week? You wouldn't happen to be plotting against a male acquaintance who lives in an apartment, would you?

 

[MCFCinUSA]

Don't shit where you eat.

to be fair to the OP, the crazy often doesn't reveal itself until later on - like after the fact.

(unless you advocate not sleeping with any women whatsoever because you're too worried they'll later turn mental)

I had a red-headed nurse with a very nasty habit of talking shit about her ex go arsehat on me (she was the last zombie 'girlfrient' I experienced recently) and once I was sure she wasn't pregnant - I just went cold turkey with her... they get the message eventually.

of course, you can also supplement with a few Ju-jitsu techniques, as I had one girlfriend smash a window and break into my house one time - who I had to neutralise in such a fashion until she calmed down, and I had a chemically imbalanced partner who would try to rip my head-off when she went beserk once or twice a month... it just takes a little experience handling such things, and for you not to lose your shit over it too... basically all of this is just part and parcel of the territory... but you're not a Brit living in the USA are you?

;o)

 

[york away to this!]

I once had a beautiful but mad girlfriend hide away in the toilet whilst texting her ex boyfriend. When she wouldn't come out I shot her through the door and smashed her head in with a cricket bat.

Hope this helps, yrs

rog

 

[bluegirl74]

Of the advice above, the best is surely that you should never shit on your own doorstep but it's too late for that here.

What you need is a crazy female friend to turn up at her door, announce herself as your long term girlfriend who has been working away for a month and warn her off you. If you don't have such a friend, I'm happy to step in but am only free Thursday this week. ;-)

What are you doing the other days of the week? You wouldn't happen to be plotting against a male acquaintance who lives in an apartment, would you?

ha ha! nothing so exciting. although I do have a male acquaintance who lives in an apartment but he's just a friend.

 

[andyhinch]

I've been out with a few nutters but the one that springs to mind set fire I was holding a party at and got a few years for arson, unfortunately I did give her some reason for doing it:(

 

[Churchill123]

I had one of these a fair few years ago . I actually called her Psychobird .
She slashed all my tyres and threatened to burn my house down with my kids inside . . . . fucking loony .

Fucking hell, you don't half pick em!

-- Tue Feb 26, 2013 2:54 pm --

I had one of these a fair few years ago . I actually called her Psychobird .
She slashed all my tyres and threatened to burn my house down with my kids inside . . . . fucking loony .

Fucking hell, you don't half pick em!<br /><br />-- Tue Feb 26, 2013 2:56 pm --<br /><br />

Let's not be hasty here, how kinky exactly is she ?

I mean do you need a bathroom for some of the sex acts she will willfully perform ?

Hahaha - This is why i love bluemoon.. you always get really helpful answers or comments!