The following is completely made up.
Details emerging of our transfer strategy for Kane.
Somewhere in Eastlands, Pep, Soriano, Khaldoon and Txiki are in an office looking out onto Asda's car park.
Khaldoon; now that's what I call a "big Window".
Soriano; So Txiki, I take it you've done all the groundwork, paved the way and Kane will be ours?
Txiki; OH yes, nothing can go wrong. I left a message for Levy 4 weeks ago.
Soriano; Excellent, are you ready to make the call?
Txiki; Just let me finish my coffee cup.
Txiki picks up the phone ..... ring ring ring ring.
Answer Machine; Hello me old china you are through to Tottenham Hotspur Football Club.
Txiki; Hello this is Tkiki Begiristain, Director of All Football at Manchest Un ... er City.
Answer Machine; Press 1 for hospitality..2 for the cheese room, ..3 for the trophy room , just joking, the club shop..4 for Gazza's bar..5 for fck off Manchester City..6 we're never selling Harry Kane...7 for Daniel Levy.......alternatively you can hold for the rest of your life for Manchester City Ticket Office and Customer Support.
Txiki: er.....What shall I press?
Khaldoon; 2! er no I mean 7 - I went to Tufts you know.
Hands Free; "Hello this is Daniel Levy."
Txiki; Hi Daniel it's me, Txiki.
Hung up ringtone blares out BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEP etc
Txiki; (in best Alan Partridge) Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, DAN !!!
Soriano; (sighs) it wasn't like this at Spanair.
Khaldoon; (sighs) it wasn't like this at Tufts, I went there you know.
Pep; I'm so so happy.