Tuearts right boot
Well-Known Member
I once burnt my cock on the exhaust pipe of my bike whilst having sex.
Was it a 2 stroke...??
I once burnt my cock on the exhaust pipe of my bike whilst having sex.
What the fuck did I just read?Posted this a while ago on me trip to Kent
I went on a pub crawl with some friends in Kent. After having one too many shandies, I somehow ended up on my own and met up with some other random group. I was chatting up some blonde piece all night barely stringing words together due to being hammered, her brother wasn't too impressed with me chatting her up all night giving me the evil eye.
Afterwards, we all went to some house party, after one too many again I go upstairs to the bog to throw up. I went into one of the rooms in the house hoping she'd come up soon. The celing was spinning and I'm trying to not throw up more.
About twenty minutes later I heard the door open, as I'm laying starkers in the bed hoping it would be her. Either way, i have a stiffy and want to get laid I don't care if it isn't. I get jumped on and nearly break every bone in my body. I knew it was a tubby straight away and start playing with the smallish jugs running my tongue and face all over them. Next thing I know my willy is pulled out and I'm doing them up the Arsenal being ridden like Red Rum in the Grand National, didn't take me long to finish that's for sure. A few minutes later the light switch comes on and to my horror on top of me is her fat brother. Blondie wasn't too impressed.
Oh well, shags a shag!!!!!!!
Respect.Posted this a while ago on me trip to Kent
I went on a pub crawl with some friends in Kent. After having one too many shandies, I somehow ended up on my own and met up with some other random group. I was chatting up some blonde piece all night barely stringing words together due to being hammered, her brother wasn't too impressed with me chatting her up all night giving me the evil eye.
Afterwards, we all went to some house party, after one too many again I go upstairs to the bog to throw up. I went into one of the rooms in the house hoping she'd come up soon. The celing was spinning and I'm trying to not throw up more.
About twenty minutes later I heard the door open, as I'm laying starkers in the bed hoping it would be her. Either way, i have a stiffy and want to get laid I don't care if it isn't. I get jumped on and nearly break every bone in my body. I knew it was a tubby straight away and start playing with the smallish jugs running my tongue and face all over them. Next thing I know my willy is pulled out and I'm doing them up the Arsenal being ridden like Red Rum in the Grand National, didn't take me long to finish that's for sure. A few minutes later the light switch comes on and to my horror on top of me is her fat brother. Blondie wasn't too impressed.
Oh well, shags a shag!!!!!!!
Haha, Not far from it mate.Was it a 2 stroke...??
WTF!!! Wasn’t expecting that endingPosted this a while ago on me trip to Kent
I went on a pub crawl with some friends in Kent. After having one too many shandies, I somehow ended up on my own and met up with some other random group. I was chatting up some blonde piece all night barely stringing words together due to being hammered, her brother wasn't too impressed with me chatting her up all night giving me the evil eye.
Afterwards, we all went to some house party, after one too many again I go upstairs to the bog to throw up. I went into one of the rooms in the house hoping she'd come up soon. The celing was spinning and I'm trying to not throw up more.
About twenty minutes later I heard the door open, as I'm laying starkers in the bed hoping it would be her. Either way, i have a stiffy and want to get laid I don't care if it isn't. I get jumped on and nearly break every bone in my body. I knew it was a tubby straight away and start playing with the smallish jugs running my tongue and face all over them. Next thing I know my willy is pulled out and I'm doing them up the Arsenal being ridden like Red Rum in the Grand National, didn't take me long to finish that's for sure. A few minutes later the light switch comes on and to my horror on top of me is her fat brother. Blondie wasn't too impressed.
Oh well, shags a shag!!!!!!!
Posted this a while ago on me trip to Kent
I went on a pub crawl with some friends in Kent. After having one too many shandies, I somehow ended up on my own and met up with some other random group. I was chatting up some blonde piece all night barely stringing words together due to being hammered, her brother wasn't too impressed with me chatting her up all night giving me the evil eye.
Afterwards, we all went to some house party, after one too many again I go upstairs to the bog to throw up. I went into one of the rooms in the house hoping she'd come up soon. The celing was spinning and I'm trying to not throw up more.
About twenty minutes later I heard the door open, as I'm laying starkers in the bed hoping it would be her. Either way, i have a stiffy and want to get laid I don't care if it isn't. I get jumped on and nearly break every bone in my body. I knew it was a tubby straight away and start playing with the smallish jugs running my tongue and face all over them. Next thing I know my willy is pulled out and I'm doing them up the Arsenal being ridden like Red Rum in the Grand National, didn't take me long to finish that's for sure. A few minutes later the light switch comes on and to my horror on top of me is her fat brother. Blondie wasn't too impressed.
Oh well, shags a shag!!!!!!!
True, however, if you were the lady/ladies in question would you allow yourself to be photographed whilst your suitor was having a fag and you hadn't even removed your slingbacks.It needs mentioning; the lack of pictures of the ladies involved in these failures is somewhat troubling.
Were you at no point alerted to your conquest being a chap by the presence of a penis and testicles?Posted this a while ago on me trip to Kent
I went on a pub crawl with some friends in Kent. After having one too many shandies, I somehow ended up on my own and met up with some other random group. I was chatting up some blonde piece all night barely stringing words together due to being hammered, her brother wasn't too impressed with me chatting her up all night giving me the evil eye.
Afterwards, we all went to some house party, after one too many again I go upstairs to the bog to throw up. I went into one of the rooms in the house hoping she'd come up soon. The celing was spinning and I'm trying to not throw up more.
About twenty minutes later I heard the door open, as I'm laying starkers in the bed hoping it would be her. Either way, i have a stiffy and want to get laid I don't care if it isn't. I get jumped on and nearly break every bone in my body. I knew it was a tubby straight away and start playing with the smallish jugs running my tongue and face all over them. Next thing I know my willy is pulled out and I'm doing them up the Arsenal being ridden like Red Rum in the Grand National, didn't take me long to finish that's for sure. A few minutes later the light switch comes on and to my horror on top of me is her fat brother. Blondie wasn't too impressed.
Oh well, shags a shag!!!!!!!