Had a near brush with a distinctly large Boris when I recently stepped out of the bath at my mum's gaff. Pulled the nearest towel off the rail, opened it to dry my face, only to be confronted by this massive hairy bastard rearing its front legs at me. Now, I pride myself on being at one with Nature but I screamed like a banshee and very nearly had piss running down my thighs. I threw the towel into the furthest corner of the room, hastily dressed and ran down the stairs wailing obscenity.
My mum's response? 'Yeah sorry, he lives there. Been here longer than you and all, so shut up'.