Stupid little things that bug you

Rob and Romesh. Can anyone answer me this; what is the point of them? They're as funny as a fire in an orphanage.
So many TV documentaries featuring some "C-List" celeb' travelling with their son/ mother/ dad/ both parents/ dead grannie' etc...
I suppose I'm not really qualified to complain due to never having watched a single episode any of them. It's the same as disliking food you've never tried simply because it sounds awful.
 
I noticed in the park today a special bench. A 'social' bench. If you sit there, it's an invitation for others to sit next to you, say 'hello' and chat.

No complaints about that. Just there were no other benches at all. You'd think there'd be at least one marked 'Fuck off and boil your head.'
 
Those pathetic little sticky things, dont know what they are called..., that tie the polythene bread wrapper close.
1) Find glasses
2) find very sharp knife
3) Try to find an opening or way in...
4) Use sharp knife to separate the sticky thing taking care not to cut it
5 Open to a round of applause
6) Hope said bread hasn't gone stale.
 
Those pathetic little sticky things, dont know what they are called..., that tie the polythene bread wrapper close.
1) Find glasses
2) find very sharp knife
3) Try to find an opening or way in...
4) Use sharp knife to separate the sticky thing taking care not to cut it
5 Open to a round of applause
6) Hope said bread hasn't gone stale.
Or: Cut the sticky thing with scissors, take out required bread, twist the wrapper, tie it in a knot.
 
When people deliberately mis-spell swear words in an attempt to not swear.

You’ve typed fook. Everyone knows what you’re saying. You’ve typed c*nt. Everyone knows what you’re saying.

Just fucking type it.
 
I noticed in the park today a special bench. A 'social' bench. If you sit there, it's an invitation for others to sit next to you, say 'hello' and chat.

No complaints about that. Just there were no other benches at all. You'd think there'd be at least one marked 'Fuck off and boil your head.'

If you sit there, does Ray appear?
 
Jim Daly's seasonal song that lists all the 92 teams in the top 4 divisions to the tune of "We Didn't Start The Fire".

It's just how he goes "Shef-i-eld United, Shef-i-eld Wens-day, Sunderland and Swans-zee".
 

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