Stupid little things that bug you

... and another thing :-)

Ex-pros in the commentary box using long words that:
1) they'd never normally use in any other situation; and that
2) are completely inappropriate anyway.

Also, randomly chucking 'to be fair' in front of any sentence, for no reason whatsoever.
People ending a statement with 'let that sink in'
 
Pretentious phrases I remember from work.

"Synergy," "think outside the box," and "low-hanging fruit" "I'll ping you," "take this offline," or "put a pin in it"

Jargon such as "running something up the flagpole" or "blue-sky thinking"

Twats.
Take "it/this" offline is a polite way of not embarrassing people/someone in a wider situation. However buzz words are out of control, crystalise is the phrase at the moment that is hurting my brain.
 
Pretentious phrases I remember from work.

"Synergy," "think outside the box," and "low-hanging fruit" "I'll ping you," "take this offline," or "put a pin in it"

Jargon such as "running something up the flagpole" or "blue-sky thinking"

Twats.
Nice to see you getting all your ducks in a row there Uncle Bill :-)
 
Pretentious phrases I remember from work.

"Synergy," "think outside the box," and "low-hanging fruit" "I'll ping you," "take this offline," or "put a pin in it"

Jargon such as "running something up the flagpole" or "blue-sky thinking"

Twats.
We used to have a short company meeting on a Monday morning. One week the MD started going on about "energy". By eleven o'clock all the directors were going on about "energy" and an hour or so later the managers were on board.
It was then the theme for Tuesday and forgotten about by Thursday with the next buzz-word eagerly awaited.
"Reached out" was embedded though and couldn't be removed even with crosses and garlic.
 
We used to have a short company meeting on a Monday morning. One week the MD started going on about "energy". By eleven o'clock all the directors were going on about "energy" and an hour or so later the managers were on board.
It was then the theme for Tuesday and forgotten about by Thursday with the next buzz-word eagerly awaited.
"Reached out" was embedded though and couldn't be removed even with crosses and garlic.
Yep - really annoying when I hear some stupid buzz-word for the first time and within 24 hours it's popping up everywhere, with not just kids (understandable) but FOCs also (unforgivable) contriving some reason to 'casually' throw it into the conversation, as though we've been using the expression all our lives.

As soon as anybody starts treating how they speak as a 'lifestyle' choice I go out of my way to avoid getting stuck in conversation with them...

(Maybe that's why they do it? :-l )
 
Pretentious phrases I remember from work.

"Synergy," "think outside the box," and "low-hanging fruit" "I'll ping you," "take this offline," or "put a pin in it"

Jargon such as "running something up the flagpole" or "blue-sky thinking"

Twats.
Do you remember a thing called the buzz word generator? You picked phrases out to create a nonsensical sentence. Occasionally I used it to add a sentence to a report. Never picked up.
At school, I used to test whether the teachers were genuinely marking essays by adding in “Omo adds brightness”. Also never picked up.
 
This gets my goat as well, the number of f**king half wits who simply cannot pronounce the letters 'TH' in words is off the scale - seems to be some 'urban sh@te' that they love on BBC1 as well as Radio 1 and 2.
Sky also desperate to come over all cool...

Their voiceover T & Cs must state that you have to own a selection of hoodies and be able to pronounce the word 'live' as 'layyyiivvve'.

For a short while they used a well-spoken lady, who sounded perfectly natural until the final 'and it's live!' , at which point she sounded 'straight outta Chipping Sodbury' .
 
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Do you remember a thing called the buzz word generator? You picked phrases out to create a nonsensical sentence. Occasionally I used it to add a sentence to a report. Never picked up.
At school, I used to test whether the teachers were genuinely marking essays by adding in “Omo adds brightness”. Also never picked up.
isn't that otherwise known as bull-shit bingo these days?
 
Idiots who answered questions posed to them
Starting their reply with "SO"
Yesssss!!!!
Or the nobs who answer a basic question with a raised pitch at the end of the sentence which implies they're talking to a moron.

"What's your job"?
" So..I work in Human Reasourses" (raised pitch)
Yes... I know what that fuckin pointless role is you form filling, tank topped moron!
 
Yesssss!!!!
Or the nobs who answer a basic question with a raised pitch at the end of the sentence which implies they're talking to a moron.

"What's your job"?
" So..I work in Human Reasourses" (raised pitch)
Yes... I know what that fuckin pointless role is you form filling, tank topped moron!
This is all teachers. They spend so much of their time with kids they end up talking to adults in the same way, its very sad, and very annoying, and they don't even know they're doing it!
 
This is all teachers. They spend so much of their time with kids they end up talking to adults in the same way, its very sad, and very annoying, and they don't even know they're doing it!
Many years ago, we moved my 8-y-o daughter to a tiny private school, from classes of 30-odd to classes of 8 or 9.
First open evening, one of the teachers - as British as you like - pronounced the letter 'Z' as 'Zeee'.
I asked her to repeat herself, because I couldn't believe it, and there it was again - 'Zeee'.
We stood up, took her home and she never went back.
£1250 per term (which was a real struggle) and the English teacher couldn't speak fucking English!
 
Yesssss!!!!
Or the nobs who answer a basic question with a raised pitch at the end of the sentence which implies they're talking to a moron.

"What's your job"?
" So..I work in Human Reasourses" (raised pitch)
Yes... I know what that fuckin pointless role is you form filling, tank topped moron!
It used to be called the Australian inflection, I think. To think that I used to quite like it when only Aussies/Kiwis and the Irish tended to do it...

We provide various IT services - you wouldn't believe how many idiots start a phone conversation with:
'I have a computer?', then genuinely wait for an answer. They usually have a long wait...
It's soooo tempting to reply 'a what? A comp-what? You sure you've dialled the correct number?'
 
Many years ago, we moved my 8-y-o daughter to a tiny private school, from classes of 30-odd to classes of 8 or 9.
First open evening, one of the teachers - as British as you like - pronounced the letter 'Z' as 'Zeee'.
I asked her to repeat herself, because I couldn't believe it, and there it was again - 'Zeee'.
We stood up, took her home and she never went back.
£1250 per term (which was a real struggle) and the English teacher couldn't speak fucking English!
I get it. It always ends up sounding pedantic but im amazed how many people..including teachers pronounce the letter H as "haich" as opposed to the actual pronunciation "aitch" politicians, broadcasters, etc all do it.
 
Safety attachments on domestic products. Absolute nightmare for people with disabilities affecting their hands or general strength. Do we REALLY need a fort knox procedure to get into our washing powder? Dodgy parents.... eyes off phone and on your beautiful off spring!
 

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