daveduke67
Well-Known Member
burning blue soul said:
And a massive loser ;-)
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Stupidest person you know
- Thread starter colourmeblue
- Start date
And a massive loser ;-)
Lucky Toma
Well-Known Member
Reports coming through now from third parties that the lad played a blinder.
nijinsky's fetlocks
Well-Known Member
After much deliberation and soul searching,I have managed to narrow it down to a shortlist of about 100,of whom surprisingly only about 30 are Cellar regulars.
Obviously I omitted the Transfer Forum,otherwise the list would have been endless.
I wouldn't like to announce an outright winner at this stage,as every day on here the bar is set that bit higher.
Obviously I omitted the Transfer Forum,otherwise the list would have been endless.
I wouldn't like to announce an outright winner at this stage,as every day on here the bar is set that bit higher.
Skashion
Well-Known Member
Anyone who uses the term Dunning-Kruger.
Nebuchadnezzar
Well-Known Member
A bloke who lives around the corner from me. Kids were breaking into his shed, so he fitted a latch right in the middle of the door. He couldn't figure out how the kids got in again.
Le Havre Oswald
Well-Known Member
Went to buy a pleco for my fish tank the other day. I went with my mate.
The women who works there was having trouble getting air in the bag. My mate says
" why don't you just put a hole in it." The women just looked and said " because the water will get out"
The women who works there was having trouble getting air in the bag. My mate says
" why don't you just put a hole in it." The women just looked and said " because the water will get out"
BrianW
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 6 Mar 2006
- Messages
- 5,874
- Team supported
- There's Only One City
A cousin of my missus. Hated his job, so he broke into work at night and stole some wood. That way he got sacked for theft.
Apparently couldn't figure out that you are actually allowed to resign.
Apparently couldn't figure out that you are actually allowed to resign.
SWP's back
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 29 Jun 2009
- Messages
- 89,064
Did he have fun in France?<br /><br />-- Sun Sep 30, 2012 2:06 pm --<br /><br />samharris said:Mate of mine got together with a girl who wasnt very sexually aware.. he asked for a blow job so she held his willy and blew on it..
true story.
Genius on so many levels.Skashion said:Anyone who uses the term Dunning-Kruger.
daveduke67
Well-Known Member
A lad I knew came out with something stupid on a regular basis.
Him and his wife had been on holiday and had flaming sambucas for the first time. Upon their return he thought he'd replicate the flaming part of the drink - on his pint of lager. No matter how he tried he couldn't light it despite his insistance that it should ignite as it contained alcohol.
One evening, around dusk, he found a guy who'd been beaten up at the side of the river. He dialled 999 and reported it. It was quite a way from the road and the police helicopter had to guide the policeman and ambulance men to the spot. There were fisherman and walkers on the riverbank all along the area he was in so in order to quickly identify his position they asked if he could shine his bicycle light up in the air so they tell him from the others. He told us how he struggled to prop his bike with the front wheel pointing up - he finally managed to do it using branches and bits of vine. When we asked him why he simply didn't unclip the light and lay it on the floor pointing skywards he just blinked a lot.
We used to stand chatting outside the pub after it had shut. He had gone to the toilet as we shuffled out. There was a massive pile of dog shit in the pavement and, without anyone saying anything, we stood around it. As he arrive we shuffled around and opened up a gap in the circle - just where the dog turd was. He stepped straight in it. We were pissing ourselves, as you would, and he just said 'I knew it was there. If I'd stepped over it you'd have all started crying so I just did it to keep you happy'
Him and his wife had been on holiday and had flaming sambucas for the first time. Upon their return he thought he'd replicate the flaming part of the drink - on his pint of lager. No matter how he tried he couldn't light it despite his insistance that it should ignite as it contained alcohol.
One evening, around dusk, he found a guy who'd been beaten up at the side of the river. He dialled 999 and reported it. It was quite a way from the road and the police helicopter had to guide the policeman and ambulance men to the spot. There were fisherman and walkers on the riverbank all along the area he was in so in order to quickly identify his position they asked if he could shine his bicycle light up in the air so they tell him from the others. He told us how he struggled to prop his bike with the front wheel pointing up - he finally managed to do it using branches and bits of vine. When we asked him why he simply didn't unclip the light and lay it on the floor pointing skywards he just blinked a lot.
We used to stand chatting outside the pub after it had shut. He had gone to the toilet as we shuffled out. There was a massive pile of dog shit in the pavement and, without anyone saying anything, we stood around it. As he arrive we shuffled around and opened up a gap in the circle - just where the dog turd was. He stepped straight in it. We were pissing ourselves, as you would, and he just said 'I knew it was there. If I'd stepped over it you'd have all started crying so I just did it to keep you happy'
PJMCC1UK
Well-Known Member
Mate of mine got a job in our local. His first customer came over and ordered a pint of Carling and half a coke. Cue my mate getting a pint glass half filling it with Carling and the topping it off with Coke then handing the drink to a bemused fella and his Mrs.
He didn't last long. Not that he was sacked. He decided he'd had enough and just came and sat down with us. We had to make him get up and go tell the manager he'd jacked.
He didn't last long. Not that he was sacked. He decided he'd had enough and just came and sat down with us. We had to make him get up and go tell the manager he'd jacked.