The language of management BS

On a similar note but more about management “speak”
I was so pleased to retire and get out into the real world full time having been a pretty high up manager was engaged daily with middle class peer groups who were right up their own arses and revelled in adopting the latest management speak “reaching out to people” ffs the old stalwart “thinking outside the box” etc etc etc
Spending a full day in a management meeting building the latest “mission statement” with 10 overpaid idiots (me included I guess) to come up with a punchy one line fucking sentence lol
Then to cap it all only yesterday I went onto my old LinkedIn account mainly to delete the fucking thing but was bemused to read the new job titles all my ex colleagues have had bestowed on them
A service manager has become the “Vice President of Global Service Delivery” ffs they are all Presidents Vice Presidents or at least have the word Director in their job titles
Thank fuck I’m out of it and can focus on being a good old working class yob from gorton who happened to infiltrate their ranks, I liken my story to City fucking up the Top Tables of UEFA and EPL lol
 
In the last team "awayday" I was forced to attend before I quit my job, we were all asked to provide a picture of our "spirit animal" so everyone else could guess which picture matched the individual.
I provided a picture of a dinosaur, with the caption "I have no idea what a spirit animal is so therefore I must be a dinosaur in your eyes".
Strangely, noone guessed my identity!
 
mancboy said:
Oh i dont know its catching up to you guys too, my sisters builder said he had the wrong type of bricks the other day and i said is that builder speak for leaves on the line.
Click to expand...
Well yeah you've gotta have the right bricks. How did he end up with the wrong ones though..? Probably down to some twat with a tie who typed the wrong order in.
 
staffsblue said:
In the last team "awayday" I was forced to attend before I quit my job, we were all asked to provide a picture of our "spirit animal" so everyone else could guess which picture matched the individual.
I provided a picture of a dinosaur, with the caption "I have no idea what a spirit animal is so therefore I must be a dinosaur in your eyes".
Strangely, noone guessed my identity!
Click to expand...
Company away days are the worst thing ever. Time spent with competive ambitious wankers is hell for me!
 
TShed said:
On a similar note but more about management “speak”
I was so pleased to retire and get out into the real world full time having been a pretty high up manager was engaged daily with middle class peer groups who were right up their own arses and revelled in adopting the latest management speak “reaching out to people” ffs the old stalwart “thinking outside the box” etc etc etc
Spending a full day in a management meeting building the latest “mission statement” with 10 overpaid idiots (me included I guess) to come up with a punchy one line fucking sentence lol
Then to cap it all only yesterday I went onto my old LinkedIn account mainly to delete the fucking thing but was bemused to read the new job titles all my ex colleagues have had bestowed on them
A service manager has become the “Vice President of Global Service Delivery” ffs they are all Presidents Vice Presidents or at least have the word Director in their job titles
Thank fuck I’m out of it and can focus on being a good old working class yob from gorton who happened to infiltrate their ranks, I liken my story to City fucking up the Top Tables of UEFA and EPL lol
Click to expand...
I once promoted a guy that worked for me to ' Vehicular Logistical Technician '
He still moved cars around the car park and he was happy enough
 
TShed said:
Fucking jokes in my time in management the only thing I learned from “away” or “team building” days is that a room full of over paid egos cannot
Build a raft…..
or
Make a very tall construction from 100 straws
Click to expand...
And that most of them are selfish cunts and not team players anyway
 
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