The "let's talk" thread

Bilboblue said:
Yeah, Allopurinol for the gout, Ramipril and Amlodipine for blood pressure.
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Bilbo just a question about your amlodipine,are you ok taking it I had a bad experience on it very red purple rash and my legs went like tree trunks stopped taking it and changed to indapamide,been great since.
 
DRINKLEVEDRY said:
Bilbo just a question about your amlodipine,are you ok taking it I had a bad experience on it very red purple rash and my legs went like tree trunks stopped taking it and changed to indapamide,been great since.
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Been on it about 6 weeks or so now, and so far it's been ok for me, mate.
 
gordondaviesmoustache said:
About three and a half years ago I met a girl online. Three kids with two different dads, and clearly slightly damaged, but alarm bells didn’t start to ring and the relationship developed into something pretty special. She’d had a very different upbringing to me: abusive, Lanarkshire council estate, loveless, but she was a remarkable woman who had overcome all that and become a professional ballerina. She was also very bright, attractive, great in the sack and she absolutely adored me, and I loved her back. My folks loved her too. She was ace.

Saw her for 18 months, got on well with her eldest two (who she had joint custody of) and grew very close to her youngest, a girl (who she had sole custody of).

Early January 2018 went to Malta with her for a few days. Just me and her, which we’d struggled to do as much as we’d liked because her youngest, the one she had sole custody of, was 18 months old when I met her - and the dad was in Scotland. It simply wasn’t straightforward to go for meals out, never mind weekends away, but we dealt with it.

Got back from Malta on the Saturday, stayed at mine that night and dropped her at hers the following morning. Made a loose arrangement to maybe pop round that afternoon with my son who I was taking back to university that day.

Called her in the afternoon, no reply. Didn’t think much of it. Called her after I’d dropped him off - the same. Thought about going round that evening but left it. Called again in the morning, still no reply - started to get a bit concerned and decided to go round to hers as I was off work that day.

Got to the house and her car was in the drive, which was the first time I realised something was most likely wrong, as she was supposed to be at work. Got to the house, opened the door to find utter chaos. Her three year old had been running amok, who upon seeing me told me that mummy was asleep upstairs on the floor.

Went straight upstairs and found her dead, face down on the bedroom carpet, right next to the bed. A moment that will never leave me. Called 999, who told me to try and give her CPR, which I did, but I knew it was utterly hopeless and thankfully the paramedics turned up incredibly quickly and pronounced her dead immediately. Giving CPR to a corpse with her three year old daughter hysterically crying while I did so was pretty brutal. Post-mortem said it was an acute asthma attack, but I don’t accept that. I think she’s had an arrhythmia and dropped dead on the spot; not that it really matter what the cause was. It doesn’t change anything.

In many ways my life has been a positive experience since that dreadful moment and its aftermath; certainly I’m very content and thoroughly enjoy my work and my life It would be wrong to suggest that event and the surrounding circumstances have overwhelmed my life in the last two years, because they haven’t. Finding someone so full of life, looking so lifeless makes one realise the fragility of existence and the need to make the most of every day, which I believe I’ve done. However, I think about finding her like that very often, as I do her. As I’ve said, she was fucking ace and she was right for me. I talk about her every day and miss her very much. We made each other happy and for her, happiness was something that had been missing for most of her life.

Still in touch with the kids and hope to remain so, especially the three year old (who’s now five and the spitting image of her mum). I doubt she’ll now recall that dreadful morning, but equally she probably won’t remember her mum and it’s important that I can answer as many questions she will doubtless have when she’s older. She seems largely unaffected by it now, but that will change as she get older. Hopefully I can ameliorate that a little.

I try and take comfort from the fact that she was happy at the end, and I don’t believe she suffered, but it does little to suppress the feeling that me, her and her kids have been cheated. The reality is, however, the same could happen to any of us, at any time; between heartbeats.

And one piece of advice; make sure you tell someone that you love them as often as you can; you never know if it’s the last time you'll get the chance.
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Thought about this story throughout the day. Can’t imagine anything more horrific. Best of luck to you.
 
jay_mcfc said:
Thought about this story throughout the day. Can’t imagine anything more horrific. Best of luck to you.
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Thanks a lot mate. It was truly horrible. It’s been very tough at times, but life goes on. I’ve got a lot to be grateful for.

And I should add that I'm going up to Scotland to see the little girl the weekend before Christmas. Seen her quite few times in the last couple of years. Never met either dad before she died, but actually get on well with both of them, which has greatly surprised me. The other dad is a bit straight, but he’s always been fine and respectful towards me; the little girl’s dad is a proper piss head. Can drink me under the table, which is no mean feat. We get on really well. I think he’s sound.

So we all stay in touch. Got a WhatsApp group. They (including parents and step-parent) all stayed at my folks this summer. It was a brilliant weekend.

So, some good has come out of a horrible situation.
 
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gordondaviesmoustache said:
Thanks a lot mate. It was truly horrible. It’s been very tough at times, but life goes on. I’ve got a lot to be grateful for.

And I should add that I'm going up to Scotland to see the little girl the weekend before Christmas. Seen her quite few times in the last couple of years. Never met either dad before she died, but actually get on well with both of them, which has greatly surprised me. The other dad is a bit straight, but he’s always been fine and respectful towards me; the little girl’s dad is a proper piss head. Can drink me under the table, which is no mean feat. We get on really well. I think he’s sound.

So we all stay in touch. Got a WhatsApp group. They (including parents and step-parent) all stayed at my folks this summer. It was a brilliant weekend.

So, some good has come out of a horrible situation.
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It's difficult to know where to start with me! As a few know I've battled with depression since I was 13 and I'm 50 (a significant number in my fam) in 3 months.
I was once (and still am) an advocate of fighting, no matter what, through difficult depression. I've been nowhere near these kinds of posts in recent times as I've severely regressed. There are reasons why and I know it's affecting my overall health.

3 years ago my, then, 32 year old wife was diagnosed with heart issues in Oct '16. She was put on a loop reader then on to a pacemaker some months later (my timelines are all a bit jagged). During her ailment, my eldest brother passed at 50, suddenly, at MRI on New Year's EVE that year. I was off work for quite some time under the pressure of being there for my wife and kids and their for my sibling family that went to pot.

I ended up losing loads of weight from it and back on meds.

This summer was the Inquest for my brother and it was pretty much a stitch up from the hospital they did, but the event got postponed. Not long before that, my wife had a partial hysterectomy as the docs didn't want to remove her ovaries at 34. Well, a few months later after tests, they decided my wife's stomach pains were down to her ovaries about to turn cancerous so she has an op on 25th Nov with a pacemaker team and the big gynae surgeons as she's one of their team.

A week and a bit ago was the final ruling on my brother's Inquest. We knew we would lose even as there were conflicting evidence offered.

I've upped my dosage of antidepressants to no avail (my right eye is twitching like mad periodically), I don't feel like eating (can be 24 hrs at times), my job is going down the pan, my chest tightens every so often and I lost consciousness going to drain the pump, this early morning. I'd just about finished when I felt like I was falling through space and felt the door sharply against my back I tried to get up immediately and when again mid stance. I was lucky my wife had bought a 9 roll bag and placed it on the door handle!

I've no idea how long I was out, but it scared me. That's never happened to me before.

I even sent son a text at 0530 and decided against sleeping for the rest of the morning.

The significance of the age I keep mentioning; my parent passed at 49, my eldest Bro at 50. We all looked alike.

I don't think I'm bothered about me as I can't do anything about time; I'm just bothered about not seeing my kids and grandkids grow into people.

I've not told the wife as she's got her op going on and her Grandma has just been taken into hospital with dementia and may pass soon.

Just need to get checked out if I can, I think.

First time I've spoken about it all.
 
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