The "let's talk" thread

[Bilboblue]

Hope you've recovered from your fall in Milan mate? Fair play for opening up on this thread, confronting your issues is often the hardest step. Never too late to start making lifestyle changes though, even if it's just one small step at a time (e.g. gradually cutting back on booze, gently upping the exercise etc). I'm sure there are people on here who are better placed to offer specific dietary or exercise advice if you're ok to discuss any specific health issues?

Nearly back to normal thanks Ric, had a bruise that covered my arse and lower back afterwards, lovely stuff...not! I wouldn't mind, but I'd only had 3 or 4 beers before that happened!

 

[journolud]

Best thread on here for ages.

I may well contribute one day but for now, I hope it's helping someone.

People you know often say that they're there to talk to but it's empty words. When you begin to talk, you can see that they're not listening. There's a hope there that they can make you laugh briefly and that's all the help you need.

Still managed to get my there/their/they're words in the correct places though didn't I?

I’m not sure that it’s always that people don’t want to listen but more that they don’t know how to, it can be difficult to deal with others distress without closing it down or trying to fix it with well meaning words. Sometimes listening without comment or prejudice is what is needed.

 

[chedlee]

Just want to add a further endorsement of this thread. We forget how uniquely the same we are in this struggle.

I have two sons in their twenties who both have had addiction and mental health (depression) issues. As a parent it can be a difficult thing to deal with, you ideally want to scoop them up, hold on tight and never let them out of your sight. But you can't so you just keep talking to them, checking in and being there.

I have heard an the idea that the opposite of addiction is connection so if you are struggling please reach out to someone however hard that is for you

 

[squirtyflower]

Seen a couple of them so far mate, it's a bit of a vicious circle at the moment, need to get out and exercise more, which I had started doing, but then the plantar fasciitis and gout seemed to return as I did. Got a gym referral, gonna call them Monday and see if they can point me in the right direction.

Have hardly been drinking at all recently, so that's not the reason for the gout coming back, as it was before.

Small step at a time mate.
Are you on Alopurinal for the gout?
Mine flares up sometimes if it’s cold or damp.
Also not always alcohol related, could be the food. Eat plenty of food with iron in.
Believe it or not exercise can trigger gout!

 

[blueinsa]

Seen a couple of them so far mate, it's a bit of a vicious circle at the moment, need to get out and exercise more, which I had started doing, but then the plantar fasciitis and gout seemed to return as I did. Got a gym referral, gonna call them Monday and see if they can point me in the right direction.

Have hardly been drinking at all recently, so that's not the reason for the gout coming back, as it was before.

Mate as someone who has battled weight, can i just say this one word and it is "walk".

Costs fuck all, no gym membership, no pressure, just you and nature and within no time a 2 hour walk will have you doing serious miles and burning serious calories.

I've done nearly 4 stone the last 12 months and I'm now cycling 40/50 KM in 3 hours no problems whatsoever.

My mental well being as a result of losing the weight and just exercising has improved no end.

It must not feel like a chore and there should be no pressure on you from anyone pal, just give it a go and im certain that within a few weeks it will be the best thing you could ever have done.

All the best to you mate, let us know on here or in PM how you get on.

 

[bavarian blue]

Mate as someone who has battled weight, can i just say this one word and it is "walk".

Costs fuck all, no gym membership, no pressure, just you and nature and within no time a 2 hour walk will have you doing serious miles and burning serious calories.

I've done nearly 4 stone the last 12 months and I'm now cycling 40/50 KM in 3 hours no problems whatsoever.

My mental well being as a result of losing the weight and just exercising has improved no end.

It must not feel like a chore and there should be no pressure on you from anyone pal, just give it a go and im certain that within a few weeks it will be the best thing you could ever have done.

All the best to you mate, let us know on here or in PM how you get on.

You are so right, the sense of well being a walk gives you is the best medicine of all.

 

[BlueTG]

Shout out to those who have just had a shit day, as well.

The sooner we talk about mental health like we do physical, the better.

You wouldn’t hesitate telling someone you were suffering with a cold, and it’s healthier to say out loud “I just feel a bit blue today/last couple of days, and that’s ok”.

I for one, had a shit day, just because it was one of those days, and tomorrow will be a better one even if ever so slightly.

 

[Nebuchadnezzar]

The reason I am about to make this post is not because i'm upset about the topic, but because I was (and still am) shocked at how prevalent this problem is. I'd be almost confident in saying there will be someone else on Bluemoon who is going through this right now.

Myself and the mrs have struggled to conceive for a few years. We've tried tests, various IVF cycles....a lot of pain for my mrs, the procedure is typically more physically difficult for the woman. All with no end result so far.

I'm at peace with it. If the end goal is to have a child, i'm not arsed if we have to use embryo donors or adopt. This post is just to say if anyone on here is going through this and wants a chat, then i'm all ears. I've wanted to say this for a while and this seemed like the opportunity and place.

It's really common. Sitting in the clinic is like a people farm - endless streams of couples, in and out. Science is staggering, you can even choose what you want your child to look like. Anyway, door's open!

 

[jay_mcfc]

I've had a few battles over the last few years (those that know me would probably know why). The underlying issue will always be there but it usually comes out either because of money worries or not being involved in sport. I simply have to play sport or else my mind eats away a me, I get fat and I lose interest in everything. My youngest started school in September so after 5 years of really struggling to play any sports I now can play and practice golf regularly and I've started football again after 8 years (injured after three weeks though).

Being physically active, playing sport and being competitive (even if just with myself) are the foundations I'm built on.

I know it's easy from here but anyone who is struggling with mental health I highly recommend just getting out and walking, running or anything else that keeps you active.

 

[dennishasdoneit]

In January last year i was given a tablet by my doctor for something minor, i had a servere reaction to it which led to my body becoming erythrodermic with psoriasis( i have had minor psoriasis for 20 years) This led to me being hospitalised at Salford royal, covered in grease head to toe, in constant pain and discomfort. Everything they prescribed has failed, light treatment(made it worse) immune suppressants ( dangerously affected my kidneys) and creams. After 10 months i am still virtually house bound. I only go out to the hospital as my body is still 75% covered and the temperature changes play havoc with me. I have bandages on my feet, plastic gloves on my hands. Im out of money but strangely still mentally well. I have my very down times but they will soon be starting me on a treatment called biologics which i have heard good things about(i met a woman in Salford Royal last week who said it was life changing for her) so i try to keep upbeat and positive.

PM sent.

 

[The Northern Baptist]

Seen a couple of them so far mate, it's a bit of a vicious circle at the moment, need to get out and exercise more, which I had started doing, but then the plantar fasciitis and gout seemed to return as I did. Got a gym referral, gonna call them Monday and see if they can point me in the right direction.

Have hardly been drinking at all recently, so that's not the reason for the gout coming back, as it was before.

ive had that plantar fasciitis recently. Noticed the laces on the trainer of my affected foot were a bit tighter than the other one. Loosened them up a bit and it’s better. Something to check mate. I know how frustrating it can be when you want to get out and do a bit

 

[blueinsa]

The reason I am about to make this post is not because i'm upset about the topic, but because I was (and still am) shocked at how prevalent this problem is. I'd be almost confident in saying there will be someone else on Bluemoon who is going through this right now.

Myself and the mrs have struggled to conceive for a few years. We've tried tests, various IVF cycles....a lot of pain for my mrs, the procedure is typically more physically difficult for the woman. All with no end result so far.

I'm at peace with it. If the end goal is to have a child, i'm not arsed if we have to use embryo donors or adopt. This post is just to say if anyone on here is going through this and wants a chat, then i'm all ears. I've wanted to say this for a while and this seemed like the opportunity and place.

It's really common. Sitting in the clinic is like a people farm - endless streams of couples, in and out. Science is staggering, you can even choose what you want your child to look like. Anyway, door's open!

Feel for you mate.

My wife is much younger than me (15 years) and when we met i was divorced with 2 kids and had got the snip so no more possible. She was fine with that but as the time went by and we got wed she really wanted kids so we said fuck it, lets see what we can do. I couldn't have the snip reversed so we said sperm donor and within a few months we where lucky, she fell pregnant and we got twins who are now 8 years old.

We have friends who cant have because the lady had ovarian cancer so last year we decided to help and my wife became a surrogate for them and she fell pregnant late last year and gave birth to little Owen, their son in late August.

It was a beautiful experience and a wonderful thing for her to do and us as we got twins because of a kind donor so why not give back and help others to have a child.

Mate if its ever something you would think about send me a PM and my wife will send you links to surrogate groups within the UK.

All the best to you and hopefully you get your dreams fulfilled soon.

 

[dennishasdoneit]

I've had a few battles over the last few years (those that know me would probably know why). The underlying issue will always be there but it usually comes out either because of money worries or not being involved in sport. I simply have to play sport or else my mind eats away a me, I get fat and I lose interest in everything. My youngest started school in September so after 5 years of really struggling to play any sports I now can play and practice golf regularly and I've started football again after 8 years (injured after three weeks though).

Being physically active, playing sport and being competitive (even if just with myself) are the foundations I'm built on.

I know it's easy from here but anyone who is struggling with mental health I highly recommend just getting out and walking, running or anything else that keeps you active.

I've always played football tennis ran walked and swam.it's kept me alive.without a shadow of a doubt.
Too many other non healthy distractions.. .mean ample time.... put aside for exercise which churns the blood round your body and invigorates a sometimes ,stunted, immune system..is crucial.imo
And for those who say I haven't got the time.......I just can't answer that.

 

[wattle]

I do Landscape gardening but ive left my job last week hopefully only temporarily, i keep letting them down and i want to focus on sorting my self out. Theres certain meetings i can do with the drug and alcohol people but only in the day. My wifes jobs is just enough to support us for now. Im hoping to go back after Christmas in a better mindset. I borrowed a lot of money to go into a rehab last year i was clean for 3 months, then it all drastically went wrong again. Its so hard but i do also have to take some responsibility for my behaviour too, i know i can never drink like a normal person can, one drink then anything can happen i cannnot stop until i have to.

If it's any help mate, I had a coke addiction 10 years ago when my kids were about the age of yours now and before I knew I had high functioning autism (coke made me feel normal and less awkward) and I thought I was on the road to suicide. I knew I had everything on a plate if I wanted it but just couldn't act on it. I had advice from my counsellor to close my eyes and imagine my little lads bringing me my coke to me on a plate and watching me doing it and learning how to take it. I never took it again and sorted myself out and am really happy and settled now. Good luck pal

 

[wattle]

I've had a few battles over the last few years (those that know me would probably know why). The underlying issue will always be there but it usually comes out either because of money worries or not being involved in sport. I simply have to play sport or else my mind eats away a me, I get fat and I lose interest in everything. My youngest started school in September so after 5 years of really struggling to play any sports I now can play and practice golf regularly and I've started football again after 8 years (injured after three weeks though).

Being physically active, playing sport and being competitive (even if just with myself) are the foundations I'm built on.

I know it's easy from here but anyone who is struggling with mental health I highly recommend just getting out and walking, running or anything else that keeps you active.

Totally agree with this. i couldn't play sport for 3/4 years because my knees had totally gone. Two partial knee ops later and I can play golf, cricket and go for walks and I feel 1000% better mentally. Sport/exercise really does help mental health for those lucky enough to be able to access it.

 

[dennishasdoneit]

Totally agree with this. i couldn't play sport for 3/4 years because my knees had totally gone. Two partial knee ops later and I can play golf, cricket and go for walks and I feel 1000% better mentally. Sport/exercise really does help mental health for those lucky enough to be able to access it.

And..to be absolutely clear..not just those with mental health issues but also those looking to avoid them..and a whole host of other bodily ailments
The old adage Prevention is better(and easier) than Cure is so true,imo.

 

[Sir peace frog]

I posted a thread a few month's ago ( sept) about my daughter going into a special care home/ school and the feelings of guilt me and the Mrs had ,and the response i got from here was uplifting to say the least, helped get through a tough emotional time, sometimes bluemoon is a tonic,still miss the little sod but life is getting better every day

 

[Deleted member 77198]

I’ve just typed out something about my demons that took me over an hour but I read it back and it was too long and boring. So I deleted it and started again...

What I will say is this: whatever you’ve been through or whatever you’re going through, keep fighting through it because in the end EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT!

I have a tattoo on my back of Korean symbols that means ‘Indomitable Spirit’. Because I’ve battled through some shit but came out of the other side, and nothing will keep me down!

My biggest pieces of advice are...

Firstly; eat well, drink plenty of water and get plenty of sleep. Fueling yourself with goodness and less shit makes your brain function so much better, you think more clearly and make better decisions as well as being physically healthier. Put all the nutrients the human animal should eat into your body!

Secondly, make sure you get out with your mates and have a laugh. Laughter is such a good medicine!

Thirdly, as I said above, never give up, keep on fighting through because there’s so much in life to take joy from, no matter how deep your depression is, no matter how long it takes, you WILL find joy in life again at some point.

 

[Celeste]

I’m another who can offer an ear if anyone wants to talk anytime. I’m much better at listening (as my post count will confirm), and I’m also at all the home games if anyone feels like a chat in person. It’s lovely to see so many people opening up, and also big shout out to those offering advice, especially useful when it’s from personal experience. Well done to Bill and Shackattack, an excellent thread.

 

[doots]

Great pic of you at Giants causeway today @Bill,great thread too btw.