In no particular order:
- Graham, 'Head of Aftercare', The Jeremy Kyle Show. A bald, slurring, dead-behind-the eyes, patronising twat who has clearly dropped out of counselling night school and bought his qualifications off the internet. I'll consider removing Graham from this list if it can be confirmed that he eats guests after the show.
- Gilmore Girls and everyone in it/them.
- Carol McGiffin. Horrible, sneering 'change of life' shit head who has seemingly never got over being kicked out of the California Raisins. Loose Women's stand-out mutt. Opens every sentence with 'No, I'm sorry, but'. You're not sorry, Carol. You're a vile woman.
- Kelly Brook. An embarrassment to coathangers everywhere. Shit at absolutely everything. Give it up Kelly and get the norks out.
- Cash for Gold, Postal Gold, Gold Buyer Man, etc etc. Please, I've got nothing else. I'm watching daytime television for fuck's sake. You've got my time, my dignity. At least let me keep my grandmother's wedding ring.
- Cheryl Cole. Learned English in a pet shop then shagged a footballer. Well done.
- Holly Willoughby. Crabs on toast. The clap with tooth polish. Fucking talentless airhead inexplicably wanked over by idiots. Reminiscent of the thick-as-fuck spunk gob from college who scored top marks merely by scenting the exam paper with a deft wipe of the gusset. Repulsive.
- Reality TV dibble. Confirmation that all coppers really are. Funny how fat they all look without their hats on.
- Richard Hammond. What a crashing twat.