You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
* Top Tips! *
- Thread starter Godzilla
- Start date
Llewellyn Dowd
Well-Known Member
If you accidentally trip over the kerb and fall flat on your face whilst out walking, simply get up, dust yourself down and walk back a few paces, then do it again. If you repeat this procedure a number of times, then to the onlooker, it will look like you're doing it on purpose, so you won't feel as foolish.
droylsdenblue
Well-Known Member
When playing golf always hit the fairway with your drive, then with your second shot, hit the green, on the 3rd shot putt into the hole.
This makes the game much easier and you never lose your ball. Try it next time you play and you will be amazed at how satisfied you will be!
This makes the game much easier and you never lose your ball. Try it next time you play and you will be amazed at how satisfied you will be!
Llewellyn Dowd
Well-Known Member
Next time your wife goes out, put her picture on the coffee table, then sit on the sofa and stick two fingers up at the picture! You can do it as many times as you like and she'll never know.
PS, Be sure to replace the picture to it's rightful spot before she comes home and she'll never suspect a thing, but try not to smirk too much when she gets home!
PS, Be sure to replace the picture to it's rightful spot before she comes home and she'll never suspect a thing, but try not to smirk too much when she gets home!
Cheltblue
Well-Known Member
drsqueggy said:Joycee Banercheck said:Don't piss on an electric fence
You can piss on an electric fence til your hearts content. When you urinate it is not a constant flow, you will not get a shock.
Good job ur around to clear that one up Doc!!!
Cheltblue
Well-Known Member
If you are a skeleton, dont drink a pint of Hoffmeister unless you have a mop with you.
Joycee Banercheck
Well-Known Member
Have you put this into practice?drsqueggy said:<BR itxtvisited="1"><BR itxtvisited="1">You can piss on an electric fence til your hearts content. When you urinate it is not a constant flow, you will not get a shock.Joycee Banercheck said:Don't piss on an electric fence
droylsdenblue
Well-Known Member
never wipe your arse with a broken bottle!
Thaksin's Postman
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 26 Apr 2009
- Messages
- 236
mcfc2607 said:The word 'Tsunami' is not in a phone's predictive text dictionary.
So if you ever get a text from saying,
'Trumang!!!',
get the FOOK off the beach.
laughed my fooking head off
don;t use sugar and water as a substitute for salt and vinegar on your chips,cos sugar does not taste like salt,and water does not taste like vinegar.For an extra bonus,don;t use salt in coffee or tea as a substitue for sugar,and don;t boil a load of vinegar for the same drink instead of water.